life is a journey

One year in Rwanda..

2010-11-18T21:01:00.002+03:00

This time last year, I was getting ready to move to Rwanda. It’s incredibly hard to believe that a year has already gone by. I feel like such an older person than one year ago and it’s crazy to think of how my life has changed its course. I thought that by now, I’d be in my first year of grad school. Instead, I ride a scooter through villages to work everyday, I wash my laundry by hand, my stomach is full of rice and potatoes, I play football and organize activities with children whom I love and get paid for it, and I’m learning tons about business and management.

boys will be boys

While I was in the States this past summer, I was incredibly anxious to return to Rwanda. My previous experience had been so full of conflict and heartache that I didn’t know how much longer I could persevere living in Kigali. However, things have changed 180 degrees. HFLM is filled with peace, growth, blooming organization, and healthy relationships. Sometimes, when I go there, I find myself lost for what to do. Our new staff team is remarkable and we are so grateful for their constant hard work. Most days, I find myself enjoying living my life here, and am rather fascinated and in disbelief that this is actually my life that I’m living. I think I should write a book one day about it all  Since being back over the last month, I have contracted typhoid, and a major flu. Fun times. I’m feeling much better, however, and the sickness was actually a nice time to force myself to rest. I’ve now experienced typhoid, malaria, parasites, and tungiasis in Africa. What’s next?

About a month ago, Morris and I were driving through town on my scootie and an object in the road slowly started entering our vision. What we thought was a dead dog, turned out to be a human whose broken and twisted body was covered in blood and glass. As we hurried off the scooter and towards the man, cars mounted the large sidewalk and drove into the bushes to drive around the scene and avoid stopping. We counted at least 10 cars before us who drove clear off the road instead of stopping. Our hearts were broken at the depravity and lack of care we had just observed between fellow humans, but there wasn’t time for that as we had to try and get the man to the hospital. After checking he was breathing and flipping him on his side to avoid choking on the blood gushing from his mouth, the search began for a car that would be willing to take us to the hospital. We asked at least 6 cars who all either said no, rolled up their windows, and shoo’ed us away before we found a willing bypasser. We rushed to the emergency room which was filled with other thin, frail, and broken bodies and awaited the news.

After this incident, I found myself deeply disturbed and saddened by the lesson the world had taught me. I feel as if I have been schooled in the reality of the world and the reality of my own depravity away from the SPU bubble this past year. The man survived the accident and now has metal poles running through his fractured legs. What’s worse, however, is that the hospital kicked him out of their ward and is making him sleep in the grass outside because he can’t afford to pay for any of his $550 bill. Nor can the hospital afford to feed him or give him medicine. I can’t imagine the throngs and throngs of people who are denied simple medical care each day in Rwanda because they lack the $10 to pay basic doctor fees. The ramifications are astonishing and cannot be hidden – the malnourished bellies of children, scabby ridden skin, a 15 year old boy dying of malaria and diarrhea before my eyes, a 13 year old girl collapsed on the sidewalk because she hadn’t eaten in 4 days.. it seems that there is truly no option for the poor. In speaking with locals about this, its been explained that its simply the reality of life in Africa – people die... frequently. I refuse to accept this answer.

I don’t tell you this story to shout, “Hey, look at me” in any way. Rather, I wish to illuminate the reality of the worlds inequality and the disparity between access to money and opportunity to care for your family. I’ve randomly come across 3 dying people in the road in the past 5 months around Kigali. The average life expectancy in Rwanda is 38. In 2004, there was 1 doctor per 30,000 people in the South-Eastern region of the country, and no hospital existed. Even if a hospital did exist, who in the village could afford the $10 to bring their baby to the doctor when the $2 they earned that day must house and feed their other 2 children?

In other news, I am reading about Paul Farm who founded the global public health organization, Partners in Health. I find myself fascinated, drawn in, and interested in potentially studying public health along with social work. It is truly inspiring what can happen when people stop to really care about each other. From its humble beginnings in a small community in Haiti, Partners in Health has now expanded its programs bringing quality healthcare to the poor around the world, including to Rwanda. It’s the only hospital in Rwanda that will treat a patient, no questions asked, even if they can’t pay. Amazing.

Lastly, Caroline, Pippa and I have moved houses! We now live in a quiet, cozy house that feels much more like our “home” than our previous residence. We are enjoying our beautiful garden, more peace and quiet, and having a living room again.

Pips & Meg being goofs as usual

For more news on what’s been happening with Hope For Life Ministry, check out: www.hopeforlifeministry.blogspot.com

Thanks friends!

Safe and Sound

2010-10-05T20:56:00.001+03:00

Don't worry everyone - I made it safely to Kigali a few days ago! I've spent the past few days catching up with the boys and staff, and falling asleep in the middle of the day on the bus, in chairs - jetlag is rough.

I really hope to blog more often this time in Rwanda, so stay tuned and if I'm not blogging, get on my case!

Love you friends, family, and supporters. I couldn't be here without you.

You're Invited!

2010-08-21T10:44:00.001+03:00

You are invited to CREATIVE CHANGE: A BENEFIT ART EXHIBITION FOR RWANDAN STREET CHILDREN. Hosted by Hallway Gallery in Bellevue on September 18th from 5-8pm, the event will feature semi-abstract paintings that portray the beauty and struggles of daily life in East Africa. Displaying a wide variety of artistic styles, canvas sizes, and vibrant colors, the diverse price range of the exhibit offers something for any budget. Half of the funds raised from this event will directly benefit Hope For Life Ministry, while the remaining 50% support Rwandan painters who grew up in orphanages themselves. One of the Rwandan artists will even be in attendance of the exhibition!

We look forward to joining you for a meaningful night filled with beautiful art and wine for the betterment of Rwandan children!

For more information, email swansonhfl@gmail.com

Liberation in a Journey

2010-07-21T22:50:00.005+03:00

I discovered this poem today:

“Liberation is a Journey” by Uwayo B. Edouard

Liberation is a journey

Rwandese of Rwanda and Rwandese outside of Rwanda

All who speak Kinyarwanda

We descend from a common culture

Come, we’ll sit here in Rwanda

Immersed by the culture of Rwanda

Let’s remember how liberation came

Unleashing heavy burdens in my youth

When I was young and just a child I played in mud and heard of hate

Rwanda readied children for war

Children chosen and armed against enemies

I heard that Tutsis were roaches and should be stomped

With tails like snakes, they should be killed

We were given bows and spears

And foreign countries gave us guns

Really

Darkness came to Rwanda , Machetes in place of peace

I saw people killed

Muslims and Christians worked together

Joined by machetes and their will to kill

And our Rwanda burned

Rivers flowed with bodies and corpses covered fields

Rwanda’s youth led the battle,

don’t you know that this is injustice?

That our Rwanda, its beautiful rivers and pools

Its beautiful fields with roads and no famine

Became a cemetery and a shame

Don’t you know that this is injustice?

And the RPF ARMY I was taught to hate

Decided that it was time to defend Rwanda

Should Rwandese die?

Should there be widows?

Should the dead be shamed?

They said, “No”

War began in Kinigi, in the heat

Everyone was involved so understand, my children

It wasn’t about guns or weapons

It was about a fight for truth

I will thank them wherever I am

Their heroics will be known worldwide

From Darfur in Sudan

To the Comoro Islands, they will be admired

And I’ll see them the way the Pope sees his church

But now that they have conquered, I ask of them

Free us from poverty and illiteracy since liberation is a journey

I’ll start with the family, the foundation

I condemn the many men who don’t allow their wives to have a voice

They hit them and think they’re mindless

Who gains from this?

Man of Mustache and small mind,

Hairy chested and without pity

You burden your wife to stay in the house

You are killing our vision of being a strong nation

And the children I see working so hard everywhere

Picking tea and coffee but they can’t even afford soap

What a shameful image of Rwanda

Give the child what he needs and he can become a king

His parents will live in peace and his family will be safe

Young girls miss school and are given a broom

And they dig in the valley because education is only for their brothers

A wife works all day and her husband hits her

And who will save her?

Where will liberation be?

And men work hard, sweat pours down

But he makes no money and it’s never enough

Don’t you see that this is injustice?
Let liberation come and let liberation be a journey

Away from prostitution

And towards wisdom and to new projects done with fervor

The rich one can prepare a gift to give to the poorest one

And how poor is he?

A house of wheat and a bed of wheat and he eats just wheat

And then he’s thrown out like wheat

Really

Our beautiful Rwanda with beautiful rivers

Beautiful pools and fields with roads and no famine

Tell me

Will it remain a cemetery without peace?

Don’t you see that this is injustice?

Let me speak further

What happens in the village genocide courts?

Let justice liberate

Let truth replace lies in Rwanda

Sitting together on the grass without division or hate

Without lying to each other

As we live in peace and the guilty seek forgiveness

Our Future is already failing

Unless we begin out journey well, helping widows and orphans

And food for the man in ruins with nothing

What is left is to share everything

As we battle against hate

I wish you all the best

And so I close here

I, a poet will speak again

Peace to you in Rwanda, peace everywhere."

May in pictures

2010-06-05T21:28:00.004+03:00

Veterne and Tantine, the beloved HFL Caretaker.

D'Amour before playing soccer, with his new Seattle Sounders ball.

Eating lunch before heading to school.

glimpses of the kingdom.

2010-05-03T13:34:00.000+03:00

this post is full of quite random and unrelated events, but things that have made an impression on me in the past few weeks and shown me glimpses of jesus in kigali..

in the past month, i have been walking in kigali and have came across 2 individuals who were literally nearly dead, sprawled out on the side of the road. it's the craziest thing. the first experience the individual was a very young orphaned girl around the age of 15 who had collapsed because she was literally starving. we took her to the hospital and got her some food that would last for about a week, but i can't help but wonder how she is now nearly 4 weeks later...

then, a week later, i was out jogging and stumbled across an older man who had also collapsed on the side of the road. there were lots of people walking past him but none of them stopped to see if he was okay or anything. i was flabbergasted and stopped to wake him up and see what was wrong. it turns out the man was named Musafa and he had come to Kigali from the village to search for work. however, while he was in the city, he had contracted malaria and didn't have the $10 to buy the meds to treat it. Thus, it grew worse and worse, and combined with a cold and not having food, Musafa collapsed, shivering with feverish chills in the heat of the day in the middle of some bushes. it blows my mind.

my new friend Musafa spent the next week in the hospital recovering. visiting him everyday, i made quite a number of friends at the hospital and learned significant amounts about the healthcare system here. Sometimes I get so engulfed in the business and administrative tasks that are right in front of me that I momentarily forget the bigger picture of why I'm here - I was grateful to be reminded.

The boy's got their Term 1 report cards back and they did SPECTACULAR. We seriously think one of the boys will end of being the next President of Rwanda. They are SO smart! 15 out of 20 of the boys scored in the top 10 students in their class - with their class sizes ranging between 42 and 51 kids. After being out of school, some for the past 4 years, their performance and diligent effort in school is remarkable and is consistently stunning their teachers. In third grade, HFL boys took the first, second, third, and fourth places in their class. It blows my mind and warms my heart.

A few weeks ago, Caroline went to the store to buy meat. As the man working at the deli stood slicing her meat, he looked up at her randomly and cheerfully excalimed, "I made a choice today.. I choose every morning to be happy." His simple and joyful sentence has been floating through my mind challenging me the past few weeks..

The other night, I went to a restaurant/bar with a few friends. The scene that unfolded before my eyes was one of those times that you can feel being etched into you as it's happening. In the middle of a club filled with dancing people who had had too much to drink, our friend Fila from Uganda got up on stage and filled the room with powerful, unashamed, humble, selfless worship, words of truth and declaration of the love of Jesus to bumpin reggae beats.. it was beautiful. i felt deeply moved at the power of the situation and the humility of this guy. it was such a powerful picture to me that this - bold words of jesus' love regardless of anything in the middle of a bar - is the growing kingdom of our jesus.

http://bbedit.sx.atl.publicus.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100501/NEWS0107/5010366/1159&nav_category=
This article was posted in major newspapers all across the world a few days ago. This situation of Iwawu Island is personal for us at HFL as one of the children that we served through our drop-in services was arrested and is now at Iwawa Island, a supposed "Rehabilitation Center" for those who have committed petty crimes ranging from living on the streets, not wearing shoes, or not having an identity card. Although the government denies that children are here, we know for a fact that our 15 year old friend is stuck on this island for the next 3 years of his life simply because he is poor. It's absurd to me. Although I respect that the Rwandan government is doing something to address the problem of poverty, I think they have it all wrong in the way they are handling it. There have been rumors of human rights abuses, and of forced labor, of trapping children on a remote island where they have no way to contact their family members and tell them of their whereabouts. My heart is so sad.

We have a new roommate as of this week. Our friend Jo went back to the UK and was replaced with Pippa, our new 23 year old friend full of energy and spunk. She has been a delight to get to know and constantly cracks us up. I'm grateful for her joy and energy, and for having another new friend here.

Personally, I've been on a bit of an emotional, spiritual, and relational roller coaster the past few weeks sometimes being completely satisfied, and at other times wanting to run away as quickly as possible. Through this, I think God has been teaching me in a very tangible way that in his kingdom, weakness is the new strength.. that collapsing, resting, acknowledging the pain in my heart and my overall brokennes, and letting self dependency end are what he seeks to bring glory to himself (Psalm 51). It's funny how opposite His ways are - how resting in the fact that I am weak instead of fighting it has slowly led to more peace, how liberation shines when we realize that Jesus doesn't demand perfection from us. Despite the aches that my heart sometimes feels, I feel on the verge of learning something very important..

...come, jesus.

Summary of the past 2 months in Rwanda..

2010-04-01T17:11:00.001+03:00

I have missed blogging so much but have literally not had a second to do it in the past 2 months! How sad. Sorry` to all of you who have been kept out of the loop. Because it would be impossible to tell you all of the wonderful, insane, challenging adventures I've had since the last blog, here's a summary:

° Uganda - I went to Kampala, Uganda 1.5 months ago with my friend and roommate, Caroline. We took a 10 hours bus ride through the green winding hills of the countryside. When we finally arrived, I remembered how different Kampala is from Kigali - immensely crowded, dirty, enormous, and more poor. Since the last time I visited there nearly 1.5 years ago, I forgot how angry I got seeing children with physical deformities beg on the streets and babies around 6 months old sitting completely alone in the middle of the busy sidewalk with their hands molded into the begging position. It's insane. However, while there, I got to visit Hudson, the boy my dad and I have been sponsoring for nearly 7 years now. He is the only boy in that region who has gotten to see his sponsor twice - he felt really special. I was really surprised at how big he's gotten! Going to Kampala was good for us, overall, to get away for the weekend and to realize things we appreciate about living in Kigali.

° Making Friends - The past month I have met some incredible people and become closer friends with my roomies Caroline and Jo. We've had our share of fun and disgusting times together (maggots jumping across our kitchen, lounging in our blow-up pool, going to parties, going on a mini-safari and our car breaking down in the complete middle of nowhere while monkeys walked around us etc). It's really great to have friends here and I'm so grateful that they're in my life. I'm also becoming good friends with a group of guys and girls from Uganda who all live together about 10 minutes from our house. Hanging out with people who understand your culture, speak the same language, and who are genuinely fun people has been a breath of fresh air for me. For a few months, I was having a really difficult time living here and was really quite miserable, but things have definitely turned around.

° Boys in school - The boys all started school in February and are LOVING it. They can be found studying late into the night and are constantly asking questions or for help with their homework. We are immensely proud of the hard work they are doing. AND, 3 of the boys have been reported by their teachers as having the highest marks in their classes! It has been extremely encouraging to us to see the progress in each child, given that one year ago, more than half of our kids couldn't read or write.

° Muhawe - We have taken in a 20th child into our residential program. Muhawe is an 8 year old boy who was living on the streets and occassionally came to HFL to bathe, wash his clothes, and get a meal. When he came to HFL 1.5 months ago with a severe case of malaria, we took him to the hospital, got medication, and let him recover at HFL. After his recovery, we noticed how much he was changing as a result of being in HFL and researched his family situation. His mother was killed when he was a baby, while strapped to her back. His widowed father is extremely poor and literally doesn't have anything at home to offer to his son. Believed to be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, and unable to live with relatives, Muhawe went to the streets. Muwahe came to HFL timid and fragile, but has unfolded the past few weeks into a gentle, kind, silly boy who now has a smile on his face and wants to hold your hand every second. We are happy to have him in our program and happy that someone has volunteered to financially and personally sponsor him.

° One year anniversary celebration - We happily celebrated HFL's one year anniversary a few weeks ago with the boys and the community members who have helped this past year. It was a great time to remember together all the things that have happened this year and to ask God for another successful coming year. Thank you for your partnership with us this past year to transform street boy's lives. Remarkable work has been done and we couldn't be happier. The boys also received their first set of letters from their penpals from the States .. wow, I don't know if I've ever seen kids so happy. It was chaos - kids running around the living room, waving their letters and photos in the air, trying to pronounce their penpals name to all the other kids at the top of their lungs, all the while dancing with enormous grins on their faces. They had tons of questions and have started a competition in school to see which kid is going to be able to tell their penpal that they received the highest scores on their exams :)

° Hovde Foundation: Lastly, and maybe the biggest news of all, is that HFL is receiving a grant from The Hovde Foundation (www.hovdefoundation.org)! This is a huge answer to prayer for each staff, for our supporters, and for the children themselves who have been praying for land and a house for nearly a year. The Hovde Foundation is partnering with us over the next 2 years to help us obtain our own land, construct housing, and develop a farm that will produce all our fruits and vegetables and help us create self-sufficiency. We could not be more excited!!!

° Coming home - I have a plane ticket back to Seattle for July 29th! I am so excited to be able to come back home... however, because we are partnering with the Hovde Foundation to expand our facilities in Rwanda, I will be returning in the fall to Rwanda for the next 1.5 - 2 years. This changes many of my plans of moving home, getting a job, and going to grad school but I feel that it is where I need to be. While I know living here for 1-2 more years is going to be full of challenges, I look around me and see God moving heavily in HFL and building a wonderful community here around me. Its bittersweet I guess..

° The next few months are crazy - This week initiates 2 weeks of mourning for the 1994 genocide in Rwanda. It will be a week of hardship, memories, and pain for most of Rwanda. Additionally, our older boys will be attending a memorial in our community and learning about the genocide. Pray for them as a few have been directly impacted by the genocide by one of their parents being killed, or their parent currently being in jail for perpretrating during the genocide. We're throwing a benefit party at our house this weekend, and Javier and Brandon are coming up from Burundi to hang out with us. I'm stoked to see some familiar faces :) The second week of holidays here, Caroline and I are going to Burundi to get away for a week and relax on the beach. Then, a member of the Hovde Foundation is coming for a week to work out details of our project, then a friend from Uganda is visiting for a week, then Hilliary is coming! Wow.

° Scooty Scooty Scooty! - My parents got me a scooter :) I am so happy to cruise around Kigali on it. Instead of a 2.5 hour commute to HFL every day filled with an hours worth of walking and 4 buses, I now only commute 1 hour each day. Thank you mom and dad!! My life is going to be so much easier..

Welp, that's all for now. Thank you for your continued prayers and support of me living in Rwanda and of all our team is doing in Hope For Life. None of this would be possible without you..

I apologize for the lack of blogs lately!

2010-02-03T12:17:00.010+03:00

(boys are silly everywhere in the world.)

"Lovers are hard to come by. And I think that’s what our world is desperately in need of – lovers, people who are building deep, genuine relationships with fellow strugglers along the way, and who actually know the faces of the people behind the issues they are concerned about. We are trying to raise up an army not simply of street activists but of lovers – a community of people who have fallen desperately in love with God and with suffering people, and who allow those relationships to disturb and transform them” (296).

Last month, I got the opportunity to pursue friendships with the street boys of Kabuga and take their pictures. (Our staff are already in relationship with them, but I hadn’t met them.) A few of the boys followed me to HFL and all our boys were eagerly asking, “Are they coming here? Are they staying?” I sadly, had to shake my head no and explain that we don’t have enough money. The comparison between our boys and the street boys as they stand next to each other is so stark. If you looked at the kids of HFL, you’d have no idea of their past. The street kids seemed to have a lot of fun having their picture taken and showing me the places where they spend their days. Afterwards, I pulled out bananas and most of them tried to lie about getting one after they hid it in their jacket. Despite their lies, and their constant sniffing of glue from a dirty and broken bottle, I can’t help but love them. My prayer is that in these acts of the staff being in relationship with them, they would not just see the love and care we have for them, but that they’d realize it’s an expression of how their eternal Daddy feels about them too. As I left, they thanked me for taking their pictures and for letting them show me where they sleep. Under their hard exteriors, their drug addictions, and beneath the layers of dirt that cover their skin, I think they long for their story to be told and for someone to care.

(Muhamwe - his mother was murdered when Muhamwe was a baby helplessly strapped to his mother's back. He begs to be accepted into HFL but unfotunately, we don't currently have enough money.)

The thing that sticks out to me the most was walking to the place where they sleep on a little mat tucked in between wild bushes. The smile on their faces as I took pictures documenting their sad reality was a crisp juxtaposition. Their shoeless feet are daily exposed to heaps of trash, mounds of dirt, broken glass and bent nails that line the trail that leads to and from the market. I remembered reading a book in high school about children in Mexico who lived in a dump and I was never able to really imagine what it was like. I am now able to picture that reality. As we walked past, other children were scavenging for usable nails amidst the glass and trash to earn money. When we reached the market, we rounded a corner and found 2 kids extremely high on glue. I sometimes wonder what I would do if this was my reality.. If I was a 12 year old living on the streets, I'm sure that in all honesty, I would start taking drugs, stealing, and drinking too..

(4 children sleep here each night.)

“When we look through the eyes of Jesus, we see new things in people. In the murderers, we see our own hatred. In the addicts, we see our own addictions. In the saints, we catch glimpses of our own holiness. We can see our own brokenness, our own violence, our own ability to destroy, and we can see our own sacredness, our own capacity to love and forgive. When we realize that we are both wretched and beautiful, we are freed up to see others the same way” (264).

Play For Hope, a Christian sports ministry organization, partnered with Hope For Life this week and came to run a soccer clinic with our kids and our friends on the streets. Despite the intense heat, the children had smiles on their faces nearly the entire time they ran up and down the field, dribbled between cones, and practiced passing and shooting goals. The energy of the street boys was noticeably lacking compared to the HFL boys and smiles didn't light up their faces nearly as frequently as our boys. They had a blast though getting the opportunity to act their age for a few hours and be the children that they are. For more information, visit www.playforhope.org

I told my testimony a few weeks ago to all the kids and they were so surprised that I’d faced some similar issues to them as a teenager. When I was finished, they began raising their hands asking questions and saying what they had learned. Veterne said, “Through your story, I see that God can use my past to do good for other people.” David hopefully stated, “I’m going to keep praying for my parents and not give up.” Paul thoughtfully commented, “I thought that everything in America was peaceful all the time and that there were no problems. Now I know that the only way there can be peace is with God.”

The next day, I came to Hope For Life and found several of the children fasting – many for the first time. When I asked them why they felt that they wanted to fast they replied, “We are praying for America and for your family.” ... WOW.

(their personal carriage - our friend who is a market worker who frequently visits HFL to pray and get advice.)

The boys excitedly and nervously started school YESTERDAY! The eldest is in primary 6 and all the small ones are in primary 1. Please be praying for the success of our boys and that they would not get discouraged in their studies or by the fact that the students in their classes are all younger than them.

(eating breakfast on the first day of school!)

I also want to remind you about our NEW CONNECTION PROGRAM! Hilliary and I are so excited to introduce it to you. Your chance is finally here to connect with one of the boys at HFL on a personal level – to learn more about his family history, his interests, his dreams, and to begin communicating directly with him via emails. No financial participation is required to participate. Simply email Hilliary Anderson at anthill00@hotmail.com and tell her you’d like to get involved. It is our sincere hope that through Hope For Life, it’s not just Children and staff in Rwanda who are being transformed, but also that our donors in America would be encouraged and transformed. We believe that when barriers that separate the rich and the poor are broken down and they become genuine friends, that the world will be changed.

“Pity may represent little more than the impersonal concern which prompts the mailing of a check, but true sympathy is the personal concern which demands the giving of one’s soul.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

“Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough; money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere (including America) you go.” – Mother Teresa

Lastly, several of you have been asking about sending things here. The best way to do so is to ship through the United States Postal Service (not to be confused with UPS). You can buy a flat rate box and ship 20 lbs here for $54. You should also be able to send letters for cheaper. Here’s my address:

Hope For Life Ministry
PO BOX 44 Kigali-Rwanda
C/O Megan Swanson

Belief is only the beginning...

2010-01-06T23:33:00.004+03:00

Sunday I heard the testimony of a man who used to live in refugee camps and on the streets as a kid. As a mere child his poverty and his status as an orphan led him to become a thief, a murderer, a prisoner, a gang leader. One day while the boy was a houseboy for an elderly Rwandan Christian couple, he decided to steal their DVD player and ran away. Later that day, he saw the old man running after him and assumed he was coming to beat him and take back his stolen possessions. Naturally, the young boy ran and soon drew the attention of the police who shot him and beat him up nearly to death. When the old man finally caught up to the young thief, he was so upset that the boy was bleeding and beat up that he carried him back to his house and personally nursed him back to health. When the boy finally came around, the old man explained that he had followed him only because he wanted to convince the boy to come back or to give him money to take so he could provide for himself on the streets.

In that instant, the young boy's life was forever changed.

Today the young man is a 20 year old lover of Jesus who is still finishing high school. When he's not in school, he fixes shoes and with his earnings, he houses and provides for 40 street kids in his humble dwelling each night. Why does he do it? His answer is simple: because that day so many years ago, he was given what he didn’t deserve – grace and love. Now, he spends his life giving the same gift to other boys in his community.

It is by these acts that the world is changed and the Kingdom of God is made known. It’s by love in action. This kind of change doesn't come about from a Christian who worships in church on Sunday and remains unaffected and uninvolved in the needs of the world; not by someone who hoards his or her things but sees them as tools of the Kingdom. Transformation comes by living and enacting the Gospel; not just by reading it and thinking that doing the things it says are for other people.

Be a part of it.

“For us, belief is only the beginning. What really matters is how we live, how what we believe gets fleshed out…” (Claiborne, 148).

Christmas and my heavy heart

2009-12-30T16:36:00.007+03:00

12. 25. 09

Christmas: If it were possible to smile for an entire day, I probably would have come close on Christmas day.

Christmas Eve was spent at home, learning how to make American Christmas decorations including paper snowflakes, paper chains, and popcorn strands. The electricity flickered continuously between dim and none but that didn’t halter our fun. After staying up late watching TV, we got up at 4:30am Christmas morning to prepare for the coming day of baptisms and celebration. Everyone joyfully got ready and then we loaded the kids 2 by 2 onto bicycles and sped off through the dirt roads to the church. Their laughter could be heard all along the road that morning.

The baptism was a time of great celebration and joy. The onlookers surrounded the pool where the nearly 150 Rwandans were baptized, their joyful singing ringing through the church, while a plethora of “Hallelujuahs” added to the beautiful noise.
Afterwards, we rented a bus and headed to town. The boys sang at the top of their lungs and beat on the sides of the bus the entire 45 minute ride to town. As we neared, we found out that 4 of the boys had never been to Kigali before and they were wide eyed as we pulled in. Christmas afternoon was spent walking around, hand in hand, looking at the town and eating small candies.

Our final destination was Josiane’s house where the boys filled the small living room and thoroughly enjoyed a feast of roasted goat, rice, peas, French fries and soda. While we let the feeling of being stuffed linger in our bellies, we went around giving testimonies of gratefulness for how our lives have changed.

I couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift than to celebrate the boy’s baptism with them.

12. 28. 09

My heart is heavy tonight with many things I saw or talked about today – the abandoned building that I was instantaneously drawn to today in Kabuga that the street boys live in, my mind’s image of hundreds of children starving and naked in prison, the children of the villages who have literally nothing, and the Rwandan churches abundant hesitancy to care for the poor around her with action. My heart is sad for our world.

This morning I was walking to church in Kabuga and passed by an old, crumbling, seemingly abandoned building. As I continued walking past it, I saw that there was tattered clothing draped over the entrances of 2 small rooms where trash, dirt and mounds of dirty clothing covered the floor. It dawned on me then that someone might actually live there and I was instantaneously drawn to the place, filled with a sorrowful curiosity to know the story of those who slept there and to become friends with them. I found out later from Tonto that the crumbling building is where the street children sleep – I should have guessed. My prayer is for an open door to go back there and make friends with these kids who live in a place I will never be able to come to grips with.

Oh, my heart hurts just thinking about all this. Meanwhile churches spend thousands of dollars buying new carpet and better sounding instruments when each day 30,000 CHILDREN in our world take their last breathe because they don’t have enough to eat. These are real children, with real faces and they’ve become my friends. They have precious little fingernails, twinkling eyes, unique stories, hopes, and fears. The Christians of the early church said that if a child starves while a Christian has extra food, then the Christian is guilty of murder. Basil the Great said, “When someone strips a man of his clothes, we call him a thief. And one who might clothe the naked and does not – should he not be given the same name? The bread in your cupboard belongs to the hungry; the coat in your wardrobe belongs to the naked; the shoes you let rot belong to the barefoot; the money in your vaults belongs to the destitute.”

Today I talked with Tonto and Mama Sissy about tithing and money as she was having a difficult time with her church who is frustrated with her that she tithes by giving her money to Hope For Life instead of the church. She said they’re starting to talk bad and this grieves me greatly. We continued talking and Tonto said that he refuses to give his money to the church because they don’t take care of the poor with it. How can he give them his money to improve the church building when there are children, the real church, in his neighborhood who are literally starving?

Within me, I feel rage, deep sadness, but also the ever close presence of greed in my own life tempting me to spend my money and thoughts on wanting nicer clothes or a new pair of shoes when I already have more than enough. Why should I be afforded such luxuries when the vast majority of our world, of flesh that is the same as yours and mine, only dream of such things?

I asked Josiane if she was going to visit Pascal in prison tonight, and it started a conversation about life for the children in jail. I closed my eyes as my insides cringed hearing the reality of it – hundreds of children naked or close to it, crying out to anyone who passes for food and to get them out, sleeping on the dirt floor. They are surrounded by grown men who are imprisoned for crimes of theft and murder, meanwhile their crime is living on the street and stealing food in order to survive because their parents and their society has failed to provide for them. How is their plight not our responsibility? How can we live in such abundant, luxurious excess while CHILDREN all over the world are suffering more than we could ever imagine for ourselves? I can’t wrap my head around it at all. And I hope that I never will be able to make sense of it. It never should.

Meanwhile, police also reserve the right to arrest citizens who wear plastic flip flops and mothers who sell fruit on the streets with their crying babies strapped to their backs under the hot, blazing sun. Since when did punishing people for being trapped in a system of poverty and oppression become a viable solution?

People of the world, arise, your brothers and sisters are crying out for you.

Church, how I fear your future if you don’t open your eyes and your hands to the needs of our world (Matthew 25: 31-46).

Love and hope,
Megan

Christmas week in Rwanda

2009-12-23T17:17:00.015+03:00

Becoming Rwandan: Each day, the older boys of HFL grab potato sacks and head out the gates towards the valley that lies behind HFL to pick plants for the rabbits to eat. A few days ago, I decided (to their delight) to go with them. We walked down a big hill and the sight of the valley nearly took my breath away. The valley was filled with corn fields as far as the eye could see, while small houses lined the hills beyond and a small river ran through the sea of green. We sang songs about God while the boys taught me how to find and pick the right plants for the rabbits to eat. After we finished filling our sacks, we put them on our backs and trekked back up the hill. The boys got a kick out of the sweaty muzungu (white girl) working alongside of them in the fields and so did the rest of the community who saw. The kids are so eager to work hard here and do so willingly and without complaining. They’ve also taught me how to wash clothes, how to clean the house, and how to take care of the rabbits. They tell me I’m becoming Rwandan.

Roadtrip to the Western Provience: A few days ago, Josiane’s church put on a crusade in the Western province of Rwanda. I was reluctant to go, but was glad I went on the mini-roadtrip with them as it was one of the most beautiful scenes I’ve seen – rolling hills of continuous green, Rwandans walking the roads with huge loads on their heads, the shining waters of Lake Kivu, trees of many kinds lining the roads, a lush waterfall … I could hardly believe it was real. We sat at Lake Kivu eating lunch and taking pictures of the boats tolling slowly past us, of the islands in the distance and of each other. It was a great day.

Josiane and her husband Oscar, my friends and "Rwandan parents"

A monumental day at HFL: We got home from the crusade and received a phone call from Tonto (the male caretaker who lives at HFL). Josiane started screaming with delight and I ran to her to find out the news. Turns out that Sunday was a monumental day at HFL. Each Sunday HFL puts on a small prayer service and in the middle of it, Paul (one of the oldest and most mature boys), stood up and said he had something on his heart that he needed to talk about. He began speaking about getting ready to be baptized and needing to confess that he lied to HFL staff about his background. He was always too scared to tell staff the truth for fear that we’d kick him out but he boldly stated with tears streaming down his face, “Now I can tell you the truth because I know Jesus. And I know that He is always with me and that He is going to take care of me wherever I am, even if I’m on the streets again.” He proceeded to tell staff that he’s not Rwandan, and that he came from Burundi in search of a better life. He thought we wouldn’t love him if we knew that he lied and if we knew that he wasn’t even Rwandan and he was ready to be kicked out. Instead, he received the tears, hugs, and affirmation of forgiveness and love from staff. Paul’s bold confession initiated a night of confession from every single boy..

David began sobbing and stood up confessing that he lied about many things because he thought that if we knew the truth about his family and about his past that we wouldn’t accept him into HFL. He originally told staff that he was an orphan but he said he has a big family, and that his real name is Veterin. He apologized many times saying that he wanted to be right before God and with us. After telling the story of his real background, which included immense poverty and abuse, he expressed the desire to reconcile with his family.

Child after child stood confessing that they had lied about their families and their past. Their confessions included stories of horrendous emotional and physical abuse, vivid plots to get revenge and kill their families, past behaviors of fighting, drinking, wanting to kill people, and having sex (even the little ones). The night was a confirmation of God’s presence in each heart at HFL and that this is truly His work. A lot of healing still needs to occur in each child but we are convinced that the good work that has been started will not stop.

“Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, ‘Look, Lord! Here and now I confess and give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost.’” (Luke 19:8-10)

Putting up the Antenna.

Christmas: Yesterday was a very joyous day as the boy’s received their Christmas gift of a TV. They were so surprised and had a grand celebration that included jumping up and down, screaming, dancing, drumming, praising, and singing songs of thanks to God. I told them that the TV is a gift from the people in America who love them and are proud of them. A few of them stood and gave mini-speeches expressing their thanks. Yves said he’s been praying for a TV for months. Paul said that God sees the generosity of all the people in America and will have rewards waiting in heaven for them when they get there. They stayed up until 10 pm last night watching a movie about Santa. For many, it was probably their first movie. Thank you to all who gave a gift to Hope For Life specifically for Christmas. You have brought deep joy to these kids.

Celebrating getting the TV!

Tomorrow (Christmas Eve Day), we are making Christmas decorations together all day. Baby is making a traditional Rwandan Christmas tree out of banana tree branches. Friday morning we will go together to the baptism, will go to town to walk around and eat treats, and then will come to Josiane’s house for a Christmas/baptism celebration meal. Merry Christmas to all!

Baby making the traditional Rwandan Christmas tree. His creativity continues to amaze me.

The goat we're eating for Christmas.

Emmanuel trying to be helpful but getting distracted because he wants his picture taken =)

Finally... Photos!

2009-12-19T17:18:00.010+03:00

Emmanuel the male caretaker and baby Emmanuel after scoring a goal. Emmanuel is great with the kids and their love for him is obvious. The boys call him "Tonto" which is a term of endearment and respect similar to the word uncle.

Josiane's kids/my "Rwandan sisters" enjoying my head light. They follow me around the house EVERYWHERE - even to my bed and to the bathroom!

Stretching with the boys.

Pastor Oscar (Josiane's husband & my "Rwandan dad") building a cage for the chickens. He a wonderful man and I am grateful to know him. Everyday he checks the fridge and buys me anything that is out. His hospitality is humbling.

Stretching before a game of soccer.

the boys being goofy in the courtyard.

Paul and his rabbits. Each boy has a cage for their "family" of rabbits and each day they walk to fetch them grass and clean their cages. Paul has emerged as the leader among the boys and has earned the nickname "boss boss" which he is proud to bear.

Nsabiri and Veterine at the soccer field.

"Few people are interested in a religion that has nothing to say to the world and offers them only life after death, when what people are really wondering is whether there is life before death." (Shane Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution)

Habimana and his rabbit.

The 3 newest members of Hope For Life, Veterine (front), his brother Daniel (right) and their best friend John (left). They are all very happy to be at HFL and are eagerly awaiting going to school in January.

"What the world needs is people who believe so much in another world that they cannot help but begin enacting it now" (Claiborne, The Irresistible Revolution).

Sweet Baby Emmanuel. He is super goofy, loves to laugh, and takes off his clothes everywhere he goes because he hates wearing them. He is very good at learning English and is the leader of his age group in English class. HFL staff recently visited his mom who literally lives in the dump at a nearby city and she is in very bad conditions. His father is seriously ill and is in the hospital. We have been consistently talking with Emmanuel about his emotions and although He is sad, he loves to pray for his family.

Some of the students taking a break from English class at HFL.

PS. MY PLAN IS TO TRY AND GET ON THE INTERNET EVERY SATURDAY 630AM-830AM WASHINGTON TIME. If you wanna chat on Skype, get on then!

Chickens & New Clothes

2009-12-16T15:54:00.000+03:00

Yesterday, the money from the quilt raffle was put into action as HFL staff decided to start a chicken income generating project. They cleared the land yesterday and bought all the materials to build the cages in the backyard of HFL. With these chickens, the boys will have an increased supply of protein in their diet from the eggs and meat that the chickens provide as now, they only receive meat 2 times per month and the rest of their protein is supplied from beans. This project will also lower our monthly food costs, allowing the money that is saved to be spent on other expenses. Thank you to all who participated in the quilt raffle!

Yesterday, the boys also all got new clothes in preparation for their coming baptism on Christmas day. A mere $9 bought each child underwear, jeans or slacks, a nice dress shirt and a jacket and a put a glowing smile on each of their faces. Some were saying, “ I never thought I would have a shirt like this!” Upon receiving their clothes, they all immediately stripped off their clothes on the spot and proudly put on their new ones, dancing around the house in them. I took lots of video of their joy =)

Glimpses of life..

2009-12-14T19:20:00.002+03:00

The past week has been filled with playing soccer and volleyball on the lush, green, rolling hills of Rwanda, teaching English to 19 very eager boys, being part of facilitating reconciliation, making babies cry when they see a white person for the first time (thus far, the count is 4 babies and making 2 adults trip because they were staring at me), preparing for 11 boys to get baptized on Christmas day, and going on a 6 hour hiking trek through the jungle to a mountain to pray through the night. I wish all my stories would fit here.

A few glimpses of this past week:

I went to the Kimironko market a few days ago with Josiane (this is the market where Hilliary and I met the boys last year) in search of Dakundimana and Pascal, the 2 boys who left Hope For Life. In talking to Dakundimana’s mom, we were saddened to find out that Pascal is once again in prison. While we stood there speaking with her, I felt juxtaposing waves of rage and compassion building within me as the alcohol on her breath and the stench of the sewer next to the ground where her children sleep reached my nostrils.

I took a 2 hour bus ride to the Southern province of Rwanda with Josiane to visit a mountain where many generations of Christians have gone to pray. Getting of the bus, I was saddened to see clusters of numerous street boys huddled together everywhere in the dark night. My mind can’t fathom how many children whose reality is the streets. We walked through the town and entered the bush, the brightness of the plethora of glowing stars as our only light. I would stop every once and a while, not believing that I was hiking through the Rwandan bush in the dead middle of the night. Who would have thought. Our 3 hour hike through the night ended on top of a mountain, the wind whisking through the trees. We settled on a group of rocks and began praying. It was very different than anything I’ve ever experienced. I was a bit scared at first by the passion and charisma in which my friends prayed, but I soon got used to it as God began to meet with us. One of the men had the gift of prophesy and spoke many words to each of us. It was incredible. I’ve only experienced prophecy a few times in my life and there is nothing like what happened on that mountaintop in the middle of the night. The man spoke prophetic words that would soon be repeated to me again by 2 completely separate pastors in two different places in the next few days. Wow. I am convinced that the powerful words spoken through these different men are not coincidental and that they’re from God Himself. I came away from the mountain humbled, encouraged, and wanting more of Jesus. I can feel something deep inside me is being awakened being here, as I desire more and more…

I am loving life and am falling in love more and more each day with 19 children and the God who has saved them and me.

Pictures to come in the next few days…

It feels like home here..

2009-12-07T20:41:00.001+03:00

12/5/09 Today was one of the most beautiful days of my life. I saw the boys again for the first time in a year and half. I’m not sure I’ll ever have words to describe all the scenes that replay in my head of today but I hope they will never leave. A grin slid across my face as soon as I knew we were in the neighborhood. We knocked on the door of HFL and Pacifique came running. He opened the gate and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen such a huge smile permanently stuck on someone’s face. He rushed to me and put his arms around me, looking up at me every few seconds with an even bigger smile on his face and with light twinkling in his eyes. I’ll never forget that smile of pure joy. All of the 16 boys and the staff were sitting outside when I arrived and we hugged for a few minutes all smiling at each other, not really believing that we were together again. We went inside and they all introduced themselves to me (as they have changed in appearance and I have not met 7 of the newest members of HFL). As we sat there in a circle they would glance awkwardly at me with grins on their faces and all but a few turned shyly away when I returned their smiling gaze. They sang 2 beautiful songs for me (led by Emmanuel, the “leader” who has emerged from the boys), and we went around the circle each giving a small talk to the group of what we were grateful for. It was absolutely precious and I would have sobbed would the smile have left my face for a mere 10 seconds. Each stood and gave a heartfelt thanks to God for all He’s done to rescue them and to thank me for coming to see them. I learned more about their backgrounds as they spoke including that they’d all been addicted to drugs (even small 6 year old Nsabiri), they were hooked on sniffing glue and drinking daily, most had been sexually active, they were stealing regularly and had been in jail. I can’t imagine these things at their young age. They spoke with utter sincerity and most had a long list of all they were grateful for. Their list of thanks would have humbled anyone – a place to sleep for the first time in their life, for new mommies (Josiane, Chantal, Hilliary and Megan), to own a pair of shoes, to have a change of clothes, the chance to go to school... Eve said that God has given him his life back and He thanks Him for each breath He has. David spoke about how he will always remember what everyone in America has done for Him and that when He’s an adult, he will do the same thing and give other kids what has being given to him. Wow. These kids will be the leaders of Rwanda’s next generation going forth to rebuild and restore their communities. They are doing it already with the local street kids in their neighborhood. We sang again and they went to play outside while I talked with the staff. It was such a good time to catch up with them and hear from their own mouths how everything is going there and how amazed they each are at what has happened in each of these kids. It seems like a dream to me even still. The transformation in the children is absolutely remarkable! We sat outside for the rest of the evening and they soon became more relaxed around me as they slowly drew closer and closer until all 16 were huddled around me. I wish I had more adequate words to describe how beautiful it was and the immensely joy that swept through me. When I left, they all began praying, heads bowed, their little hands over their eyes and their small voices all ringing out their praises and requests. There is nowhere else in the entire world I could have wanted to be in that moment. I came home and couldn’t sleep nearly half the night because I was so happy. Apparently Berco said that he hadn’t slept the night I arrived as he stayed up listening for the plane that would bring me to them.

I can’t stop thinking, my friends, that this is the Kingdom of our God. Is not the Kingdom giving to and equipping the poor, becoming friends with them, making their reality our own, restoring hope to people as they receive a second chance at life here on earth and for eternity? I feel as if I’d give up every possession I own to be able to give more to these kids or give this opportunity to more children. It was a really wonderful reminder today hearing them talk about their gratitude that this work is not just about providing for tangible needs, but it’s about them knowing Jesus. The most prized thing that each child spoke of wasn’t their shoes, or food, or even the chance to go to school again – it was Jesus and that He’d looked past all that they’d ever done and that He still loved them. I wish each and every one of you could see them. They shine and exude hope, joy, peace, thankfulness, and love – in essence, Jesus.
I’ll try and update again soon. Until then, please be praying specifically for guidance as to what my work is going to be here. We are creating programs and goals for my trip on Monday. Love and greetings from me, the boys, and from the staff and their families.
“Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter-when you see the naked to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?” Isaiah 58: 6-7

12/7/09 Since being here, I have been praying to find Veterine, the crippled friend Hilliary and I made last time we were here. Yesterday morning, Josiane and I were on the bus coming home from church when I suddenly felt prompted to turn around and look out the window. Suddenly, a wheelchair flashed through the crowd and bus and I felt that I had to immediately get off the bus. As the chair turned, I caught my breathe and ran as I saw that it was Veterine! His eyes lit up when he recognized it was me and an enormous delighted smile came to him. I stood there paralyzed for a second a few feet away from him, jumped up and down with glee and then rushed towards my friend. We hugged for a long time as he sat in his dirty wheelchair. All these past few days I have been praying to see him again, and we have looked for him twice but were unable to find him. Wow! We drove to his house to talk with his family about him coming to HFL and the whole ride, I kept looking him, not believing my eyes. I couldn’t have hid my smile for a million dollars. We had a long discussion with Veterine’s mom and she wouldn’t release him to us unless we would pay for his sister’s school fees as the money he gets from begging every day of his life is used to pay for his sister’s school. It felt like we were rescuing a child from bonded labor or slavery. Yesterday morning I had no idea where he was and by last night, he was asleep safe and happy in Hope For Life. We also took in his 10 year old brother, Daniel, and his best friend John. This brings our total to 19 boys! Wow. We are trusting God for more finances as in addition to needing to pay for these 3 new boys, we are also responsible now for paying their sister’s school fees. (If you want to help, every dollar goes so far here. Please consider giving at www.hopeforlifeministry.org) We are hoping he never spends another day sitting in the dirt begging. He has been so happy since being at HFL! Today, the boys at HFL were literally yelling at each other, fighting over who was going to care for Veterine. It was a beautiful fight :) Their transformation is absolutely remarkable. I think it’s the more amazing thing I have ever seen and I am so deeply encouraged. I wish that everyone who has been a part of HFL could see it!
We had a staff meeting today and our need for increased finances is very present. Please join us in expecting God to meet our many needs here.

Hope you are encouraged by these stories. Love from Rwanda,
Megan

Adventure Round 2 Has Begun..

2009-12-02T21:46:00.001+03:00

I'm sitting in the Nairobi airport about to head to Rwanda in about an hour. WOW! I'm having a hard time comprehending it as I'm sleepy and stink so bad.

Here's the stitch on Europe though!:

Wow, Europe has come and gone like a blur. I spent 10 wonderful days in Gaillac, Southern France and in Barcelona with my dear friend Krista Haxton. I wish I could describe to you what an absolute adventure it was – each day was filled with so many stories. A few of the highlights include:

• Taking trains through the beautiful French countryside and making friends along the way with people from all over the world
• Learning how to cook some dang good food
• Drinking great wine and sangria
• Having to take 8 train transfers to get to Barcelona and a crazy random taxi with 2 girls from France at the Spanish border. Our taxi driver was INSANE: going about 70 mph down these tiny but very steep and windy cliffs, while texting and blasting Brittney Spears. We then ran across the border without getting our passports checked to catch our departing train.. Eek!
• Staying 2 nights at a hostel in a 10 person room with all guys who farted all night and thought it was simply hilarious
• Skateboarding, playing pool, and learning to Salsa on Barcelona’s streets with locals
• Dancing in Barcelona!
• On the way back to France, we got to the train station and discovered the entire French railway system was apparently on strike that day… WHAT?!... Getting home included running across town with our bags to the bus station, catching the last bus to France but not knowing where in France it was taking us, and renting a car with an awesome American couple we had just met. Someday, we will be Amazing Race Champions. Watch out.
• Getting pursued by waiters at EVERY SINGLE restaurant we ate at in Barcelona. We had flowers bought for us, were invited to go clubbing, out for drinks, and to hang out the next day by 5 different waiters. Did I mention, Krista got proposed to?
• Visiting French villages all throughout the countryside.
• Sleeping 9 total hours over 3 days. Barcelona is not for sleeping.
• Learning to be spontaneous and more carefree.
I had SUCH a blast. I especially enjoyed the opportunity to push my introverted self to try new things and be spontaneous. I LOVED it.

On a deeper note, the past few days have been a really good time for me to prepare for Rwanda mentally and by getting to talk with friends and family a lot. I now sit on a train riding to Paris to spend the night before departing for Africa TOMORROW. I wish I could paint a picture to share the scenes before my eyes with you. Lush green plants grow everywhere the eye can see as hills sprout up in the background, the setting sun casting an orange glow across the countryside. Fluffy clouds scatter the sky, reflecting the pinks and oranges of another day gone by. The departing sun’s glow splatters on stone houses and their fall trees, sparce with colored leaves. Light dances across Chateaus, making their demeanor even more magical. Alexi Murdock, Joshua James, and Ray LaMontagne echo in my ears and fresh pizza is on my breath. Hopes and dreams marinate in my mind of what the next 7 months will hold - of becoming the person I dream about being, of the ensuing change that is bound to soon come within me, of a lifestyle calling to me that will shout Jesus to the eyes of the world so downcast by the scenes of corruption, greed, and pain that have overwhelmed their vision. Excitement, hope and a small edge of hesitancy lie like a lens behind my eyes as imagines of my future flash. A life of adventure, intimacy, love, generosity and a Sacred romance call me forth, daring me to step outside of the box called “life” our culture has created.
Talking with a friend recently was very revealing as he passionately explained that he believed in “god” but he remains pissed off at the representation that God’s so called imitators have displayed throughout history. He cited seeing no difference in the greed, corruption and selfishness between Christians/other religious people and atheists. Something is vastly wrong with this picture. I am determined to keep searching for the One who all the beauty I see is but a mere reflection of and to not ignore the deepest yearnings of my heart calling me to something more. It beckons me to leave the familiar, the comfortable, the resignation that “this is just how the world is,” and to rediscover intimacy, beauty, truth, compassion, justice, love displayed in actions, and adventure. J. Eldridge and S. Curtis argue that this yearning is “the core of our spiritual journey. Any religion that ignores it survives only as guilt induced legalism, a set of propositions to be memorized and rules to obey” (20). I go forth vowing to relentlessly chase these yearnings inside me.
Isaiah 58.

18 days till takeoff!

2009-11-04T09:34:00.003+03:00

Wow, 18 days. I literally still haven't comprehended in my head that this trip is finally happening. I was recently looking back over my old journals from this past year in Rwanda and then back at home and so much of my thoughts have been on seeing those boys who have gripped my heart again. I wonder, will I laugh jubilantly or weep upon seeing their faces and holding them in my arms again? We will soon find out!

I'm definitely excited about this trip.. I'm finally making my dreams come true and I'm thrilled. I have so much to learn from my friends and all year long I've been waiting for this chance to go back to grow and be with the people I've come to love. Yet in the same breathe of excitement, the doubts cannot keep from penetrating my thoughts. "Can I actually do this? Is this too big for me to do on my own?" The questions creep in so quickly trying to steal away my exhilaration. Yet, I am steadfast holding onto this promise: "If I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast." Psalm 139.

If you'd like more information on my trip, feel free to join me this coming Sunday, November 8th for a Cross-Cultural Coffee House as I will be sharing. The event is held at Northlake Christian Church in Bothell at 12pm.

Love, Megan

Rwanda Update

2009-01-28T09:51:00.006+03:00

our Rwandan staff, Josiane & Chantal

Here's an update we've sent out to individuals and families interested in the work we're starting amongst the Rwandan stre

et children.

Dear Friends & Family,

Greetings to you, as they would say in Rwanda! You are receiving this email update because you have expressed interest in supporting Hope For Life, the child sponsorship program being started in Rwanda.

First, we would like to apologize that it has been a long time since you have received an up

date. We know many of you have questions and are eager to help with this program. I hope this update will be helpful and informative to you.

Over the course of the past two months, we have been meeting with organizations that engage in child sponsorship work around the world. This has proved a very valuable and informative time for us to gain wisdom and support. During this process, we were able to le

arn about how to set up a legal Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) here in the States. This is a 12-month process that we have decided not to pursue at this time. Instead, we have joined with other already existing NGOs that will serve to mentor and partner with us in our efforts to care for the street children of Rwanda.

The two official partners that Hope For Life has joined include Muhumurize and Breakthrough Partners. Muhumurize is a registered Rwandan based cooperative that operates a catch-up school for street children trying to go back to school (see the attachments "Agreement for Partnership, Muhumurize, and Muhumurize 2" for more details). While we are not registering to become an official U.S. based NGO, we are pursuing official ministry status in Rwanda. We have turned in the paperwork, and while we are waiting over the next several months to hear back from the government, Muhumurize has committed to mentoring our staff in Rwanda, training them and providing guidance.

Here on the U.S. side of things, Hope For Life has accepted to partner with Breakthrough Partners, a recognized NGO focusing on community development and indigenous leadership development throughout the world (http://www.breakthroughpartners.org/index.htm). Breakthrough Partners is the organization Hilliary and I completed our internship with last summer, and we trust their experience, resources, and immense knowledge of this field. (They have also worked with Chad Mason in the past, and he trusts them as well.)

As of now, we have two Christian women currently working with the street boys. The first is Josiane, a woman Hilliary and I worked with all summer. She is an extremely hard-working woman with a devout love for God. She has experience in church leadership, working with children and vulnerable women, and holds a degree in Accounting. Chantal is the second staff member. She has a degree in Language as well as Tourism, and is the former Children’s Director of the church we worked with this past summer. These women are two of the most committed women I have ever met and are immensely trustworthy. They will be heading up the work in Rwanda, being mentored by Muhumurize, and an American missionary Jean McAllister.

In the next two weeks, these partnerships will be formalized and the details worked out. After this is accomplished, we will begin collecting resources to purchase a home for the boys in Rwanda. The sponsorship program will be a group-based sponsorship, meaning that instead of connecting an individual child with an American sponsor, all of the money will be pooled to benefit all of the boys in the program. Thus, please be praying about the commitment God might be calling you to make, either prayerfully or financially. Please also know that by partnering with Breakthrough Partners, you will receive a tax break for any financial commitment you make to this program.

As for the boys, there are now 8 of them who continue to be in the prison. Josiane reports that they are continually growing skinnier because of the lack of food in the prison. The authorities have agreed not to transfer the boys because they know that we are trying to form this program as quickly as possible. Amen for this!

I am extremely grateful for your interest in these children and in partnering with us to change their lives for the glory of God. We will contact you again soon with more details. In the meantime, check out the attachments for more information and feel free to ask if you have additional questions.

Sincerely,
Megan Swanson (206-877-2405) & Hilliary Anderson (anthill00@hotmail.com)

Prayer requests:
-Praise for the agreement with the prison authorities, and the partnerships that God has established!
-Pray for enough supporters who are willing to commit to these children financially, prayerfully and relationally.
-Wisdom for Hope of Life, Murumuhize, and Breakthrough Partners.
-Josiane is searching for a house to purchase that will be the home for these 14 boys and the center for our program. Pray that God would guide us to the right house in His timing.
-Strength, hope, and food for the 8 children in prison.

2008-11-06T10:44:00.005+03:00

My heart is so sad for the conflict on the Congolese-Rwandan border. Please keep yourself informed. Please pray for God's mercy and grace so that another genocide doesn't happen... Hopefully with all the recent press coverage, the rebels will know that the world is watching. During the violence in 1994 though, a lot of the world was watching; and yet nearly 1 million people were still killed. Do we care enough to do our part to stop it? Or would we watch on, be sad, and then continue eating our dinners in our warm houses unaffected by the horrific news of our brothers and sisters?

http://edition.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2007/impact/

Every morning lately, the first thought that floats through my mind as it slowly awakens and as my eyes open, are of the mayibobo (street boys). I dream about them a few times a week. It takes me about an hour to fall asleep each night, as I lay awake contemplating and reflecting.

I imagine seeing them again, rushing towards them, holding them, and walking with their little dirt-caked hands in mine, and everytime without fail, I begin laughing outloud. I become physically giddy as the scene plays in front of me.

The other morning after this scene occurred again, I read a line from one of my favorite books, "Disappointment with God" by Phillip Yancy. He says, "...the deepest longings we feel on earth, as parents, as lovers, are mere flickers of the hungering desire God feels for us" (234). My desires are put into a new light and this has carried me through my yearning for Rwanda and my friends. My aching, the twinges of my heart, are but a small and minimal reflection of God's own heart.. for me, for the boys, for the displaced of Congo, for America, for all...

how cool. I am not alone in my pain, in the desires of my heart etc. In fact, they're not even "mine" to begin with...

lessons outside of the classroom

2008-09-08T01:35:00.006+03:00

it's time to start asking myself what have I learned from three months abroad this summer. there's simply too much to describe in one shot so here's the first few lessons.

number one.

perhaps the biggest thing I learned about was theodicy (a justification of God's goodness and existence in the face of evil and suffering) . It's so common for people to ask the "Why God?" question in the face of suffering, and I find myself leaning this direction when hardship hits my life as well. However, I felt like I got a new glimpse into this question this summer.

When bad things happen, we tend to think it's God's fault and argue that if He really is all powerful and in control of everything, then bad things shouldn't happen. However, I don't think that when bad things happen that it's God who has disappointed or failed; it's humans. Let me explain.

Back in the days of the Old Testament, God chose to dwell in the temple and only a priest could even think about entering his holy presence. Then, God came to us personally in the man of Jesus and was before our very eyes. When he ascended into heaven, the Holy Spirit was given and God chose us, the ordinary Joe's of the world, to represent him. Jesus no longer physically roams the earth, but Christians do in his place.

Thus, as we ask, "Is God silent? Is he hidden? Is he unjust?" I answer these questions with another: is the church silent, hidden and unjust?

Author Philip Yancey says in his book Disappointment with God, "We who live now are not disadvantaged but wonderfully privileged, for God has chosen to rely primarily on us to carry out his will on earth" (172).

That being said, it's up to us to "be God" here and now. He chose us to go for him and to act like him, revealing him through seemingly ordinary actions to the rest of the watching world. Do you see? Do you start to glimpse the enormity of it all? do you feel fear rising in your throat because of it? do you hear the call of urgency to arise? I know that I certainly did this summer..

I was forced to ask myself the hard questions: will I play my part in this world? will I arise to the challenge and look the reality of the world straight in the face? I believe that God has been calling me to arise the past few years as I've grown as a person, and in my faith, saying, "Go and love so radically that the world will never be the same." As we love, I believe that Satan falls like lightning. As we throw off selfishness, complacency, ignorance and pride, the world transforms little by little for the glory of God. People, communities, and entire nations will be drawn to the light of God as he is lived out in word and in action. Ideally, the world would stop asking "Why God?" and "Where are You?" in the face of moral evil and start seeing God here once more.

Will you arise? Will I arise? Will the church of the 21st century arise? Our God offers such mercy and power. We are never alone so let's throw off the past and come be a part of a revolution of radical love through action that will shape history to come. God calls us to be his "stand-in" and what an honor and a duty that requires utmost humility. The seemingly "ordinary" actions of kindness and love shatter the forces of the unseen world. We have a great role to play in the cosmos!

"...Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord rises upon you... nations will come to your light and kings to the brightness of your dawn..." (Isaiah 61)

Let's dare to want more from life than the 9-to-5, than happiness from a bottle, than beauty only being seen in the physical, than living in ignorance and selfishness as AIDS, generational poverty, child homelessness and oppression rule the world. For I've tried all these things and each time, I come up wanting and suffocating for a breath of fresh air. And as I do so, the world around me continues to wonder out-loud where the heck God has disappeared to.

In short, this summer I have been forced to ask myself the tough questions. And as I am given the courage to do so, I come away longing to love those around me more radically, to dream big for God, to hope for more than what meets the eye, to want to shake complacency and mediocrity from their cozy hide and to play my role in the cosmos.

number two.

there are different kinds of poverty. The people of Rwanda are horribly poor physically, but perhaps richer than the West in the things that count. They understand hope and love more fully than I think the majority of Americans do and always find reason to rejoice simply because they know there's more to life than what meets the eye.

well, I think that's enough to process for the next week until I have internet access again as I'm off for a long drive to Italy tomorrow morning. talk to you again in a week! thanks for walking through me as I start to process all this stuff.. i'd love to hear feedback etc.

au revoir mes amis! Je-t-aime et je parle "merci" pour votre amitie.

(ps. i'm trying to learn french)

goodbye Kigali... at least for now

2008-08-28T16:56:00.007+03:00

my time in Rwanda is officially over.. at least for now. I know without a doubt that I will be back there one day. I am now in France for two weeks before finishing up my time in Europe with my family in Italy. What a summer full of memories.. I have been having a hard time comprehending all that has happened yet alone finding the words to adequately express it.

My heart has been aching since being away from Rwanda and if I could, I would go back this very instant. I find myself staying up into the early morning hours of the night everyday looking at pictures and wishing more than anything that I could hold the street children in my arms once again. Yet I know that my time for now has come to an end and that God has other things for me. I must finish up my time at school, and I do so with a renewed focus wanting to learn as much as I can so that it might somehow benefit the kingdom of God, and hopefully the people of East Africa.

Update on the street boys: For my last month in Rwanda, I was pushed to pray for the boys knowing that I was going to be leaving soon. What would happen to them and who would care for them when I left? During my last week, my friend Josiane who has one of the most beautiful and caring hearts I’ve ever seen, approached me. She said that she had been touched by the boys after seeing them in church the previous Sunday and that she wants to help take care of them!! Words can’t describe how jubilant I was and I had a hard time hiding the smile on my face for the rest of the day.

We set up a small program between us where I am going to send her money and she will take care of the boys as if they were her own children. Already she has sent me reports and they have warmly accepted her and were overjoyed to find out that she was coming in my place and that we could remain in contact through her. She plans to take them to her home weekly to feed them and let them sleep in her living room. She wants to teach them how to pray and plans to continue taking them to Patmos on Sundays. The most exciting thing is that Josiane offered to find schools that would take the boys if I could find sponsors. When she told them the news, she said that they were absolutely thrilled. I can just imagine their smiling faces and see them jumping up and down with delight in their eyes.

Habimana

That being said, Josiane is in the midst of figuring out the schooling process and I must find sponsors for these 9 very vulnerable boys. I am currently unsure how much school fees are but I am positive the cost is small compared to the significance of how much this will change the future of these 9 lives. I am trying to figure out a way to send the money through an NGO so that if you sponsored a child, it would be more reliable. Josiane, however, has a degree in accounting and experience as she was in charge of a large church’s finances before. I don’t trust anyone more than her in all of Kigali. Before I left, I talked with countless NGO’s such as World Vision and Compassion International, but they were all unable to take the children into their programs because of many restrictions they’re organizations have. Thus, God answered through Josiane.. Oh, how He is faithful! I am still trying to find an organization to partner with though and will keep you updated..

Other than that, my time saying goodbye to my new Rwandan family was pretty difficult. On the night before I left, all the youth came to Pastor’s house to say goodbye. Because there was no money for electricity, we sat there in the shadows of the dark and took turns encouraging one another. It was a beautiful time. After lavishing me with kind words, they gave me so many gifts that I had a very difficult time bringing them all home. It meant a lot because I know that each one of them must have sacrificed hugely to buy me such nice things. They then surrounded me and prayed and the room was filled with many tears. After this, we moved all the furniture from the living room and danced together singing of how we are all going to be together in heaven someday.

Aline, the director of the youth, and I the night before leaving

On my last day, I gave Auntie the money that we raised for her to start a salon. She teared up many times while we talked and signed the papers and then she finally broke down speaking of how she no longer alone J

After a tearful goodbye at the airport, I spent the majority of the plane ride writing. I was filled with such ups and downs, so sad to be leaving yet at the same time knowing that I have other things to do this year. I got the opportunity to see my long time friend Pastor John in Kenya. His family spent hours getting to the airport just to see me for about 45 minutes. His family was beautiful and it was great to be able to see him after nearly 2 years apart.

After getting to Paris, it seemed that all hell had broke lose. Because my flight had been so delayed from Kenya, I had missed my flight to Southern France and had to buy a new one. I soon discovered that my credit card had been locked and I didn’t have enough cash on me to buy my ticket. It was awful and I broke down in tears at the ticket counter. After frantically searching through my bag, I amazingly found more money that I forgot I had… thank God! I then waited for 8 hours in the airport where my wandering eyes met many homeless people sleeping in empty chairs. From one airport to another, from each country to the next, there is suffering and poverty of many kinds. As I sat there people watching, my mind and heart raced, switching back and forth, to and fro between emotions and thoughts. The thought of the huge financial disparity that’s between the people in the world made me ache and want to scream and break down crying all at the same time. When I finally arrived in Southern France, I found out that my car was broken in America, and that my cell phone had been stolen from my room in Kigali two months earlier, and that my phone bill was $8,500. It was a very discouraging few days, especially coming from a place where that much money could literally save hundreds of lives. A door has finally opened up though (thank you SO much Steiner!!!) and there only needs to be one more word of approval from the cell phone company before they waive the charges.. wow, I hope it works!

Last night I spent an hour and a half on Fritz’s farm laying in an open field watching the stars come out, reflecting on what I’ve seen, smelled, heard, tasted, experienced and learned this summer..

..but that shall come tomorrow.

rwanda in pictures.. words to come later

2008-08-26T19:24:00.029+03:00

Claude, orphan and street child.

Kristine, Pastor Bea's mom. we have quite a few funny stories about her..

visiting our friends Veterine, Daniel, Rachelle and Janet at their small home. The four of them live alone in a tiny 2-house room with young 12 year old Veterine as the only one making money by begging to provide for 9 people

our adventure in Uganda

Hilliary with the former prostitutes. These are their first necklaces and they were thrilled! If you want to buy some, we bought them all to bring home and sell. We are in the process of helping these women start an association/organization in which they can learn how to make crafts and sell them

Daniel- 8 years old.

he is unable to go to school because he must carry his crippled brother Veterine to the Kigali taxi park everyday. Thus, he spends his days sitting on the curb counting the change this his brother collects from begging in the dirt. He has a shy smile and he loves to drink orange Fanta.

Daniel's brother Veterine- 12 years old, disabled. He is the sole financial supporter for 9 people. lives with his 3 siblings all under the age of 14.

he rarely gets the opportunity to be a child but when given the opportunity to be taken away from begging at the taxi park, he shines with laughter and makes many jokes. He got pastor's number and never failed to call at least 4 times a day thereafter :)

Ugandan countryside

Nsabiri- 5 years old, street child.

whenever I think of Nsabiri, I smile. He is a curious bundle of energy who hasn't yet become hardened by the streets because of his young age. He loves to show affection and to sprint towards us whenever he saw us coming. He is very vulnerable and you can see in his eyes that he is aching for love. Despite this, he loves to run around playing soccer with empty bottles and chasing after cars, his bare feet kicking up the red African dirt. His stomach pertrudes through his shabby clothes from malnutrition and his head bears a very large scab where his hair has stopped growing from not getting enough to eat.

her mom is HIV positive. what will happen to her in a few years when her mom is gone?

the colors of kampala

the street children of Kimironko who have stolen my heart. from left to right, Pascal an orphan with cigarette burns up and down his arms, Claude, Pacifique, Eve (down below), Dakundimana (whos name means 'God loves us'), and Dahabimana (whos name means 'God is with us')

my english class receiving their certificates of completion

our sponsor child Adison (in the red jersey) with his family. He lives in Entebbe, Uganda in a small fishing village. His grandma is seated in the chair and the man on the ground is his uncle Dan. After giving him his gifts, all the children of the village were calling him "rich boy." There couldn't have been a prouder expression on his face.

Nsabiri, Pacifique and I playing volleyball and washing their clothes

this crazy monkey and her baby tried to attack hilliary. we thought it would be really sweet but then it ran after hill biting her foot! moral: monkeys are not friendly.

the street boys get new shirts!

my favorite english students eva and eric. eva lives in the church because he has nowhere to go. eric lives with one of the pastors as just 6 months ago he was on the streets. God has radically changed both of their lives and they have crazy testimonies

hill, Pastor Bagaza, me & Antoine after church

Hilliary and Chantal, our interpreter

former prostitutes learning how to make crafts inside Patmos Church

my beginners english class

joseane, chantal and I at our goodbye picnic by the lake

a hard day

2008-08-21T16:30:00.005+03:00

yesterday I watched as a boy not more than 16 years old died.

he died of malaria and diarrhea--the two most common killers in africa and two of the most preventable illnesses. apparently, he had gone to the clinic the day before but was unable to buy medicine due to poverty.

as a result, his young life was taken from him. his life could have been spared for less than $10.

i couldn't stop crying all day..

slumber party, street boys, and getting ready to leave..

2008-08-19T17:22:00.003+03:00

(Nsabiri and I during our "slumber party")

A few nights ago, I was walking away from hanging out with my street boys when Nsabiri, the smallest one at 5 years old (although they’re unsure because they don’t know his birthday), called out to me from behind. He continued to follow me in the dark repeating over and over again that he was hungry. He had looked sad that whole day with big tears ready to flow from his little eyes. While we sat and shared a tortilla together in a nearby market, his deep eyes welled up again and he kept begging me to take him home with me because he didn’t want to sleep in the sewer gutter. I had no idea what to do as I obviously don’t have a home of my own here so we just sat down on the curb together. With him in my lap and with my arms wrapped tightly around him, I whispered to him that I loved him and he began to cry. At first it was ever so soft, but within a couple minutes, he was sobbing. It’s unusual for people in this culture to cry in front of others and it was the first that I have really seen someone bawling in public and it broke my heart. There we sat on the curb under the dark sky crying together with his tiny body shaking under my arms. I couldn’t walk away from my beloved friend so I found myself, to my surprise, calling pastor to ask if Nsabiri could come home with me. She surprisingly agreed and I took him home to his absolute delight. We washed his clothes and his dirty body, including his round belly that sticks out from poverty and malnourishment. After a meal together, in which it was obvious he didn’t know how to eat at a table or use utensils, we went to bed. He was so excited that he had a hard time going to sleep so we stayed up coloring for a while and taking pictures and soon he began to doze off. Seeing him in my bed was absolutely beautiful. It’s ironic because I’ve always said that I don’t really like children but they have absolutely stolen my heart here.

Some of the people around town have started calling me mom and recognize me all over the place as the one who is always surrounded by the street boys. The other day two of them fell asleep in my arms and I sat there with their heads leaning against me, wondering how in the world I’m going to leave them behind later this week. I would give almost anything to take them home with me.

One of the boys has marks all down his arms that look like cigarette burns. With my limited language skills, I asked him what they were and he replied, “mama and papa.” It’s difficult to understand how such injustice can occur in our world, especially to innocent children. It’s a reality hard to swallow and I want to do all I can to be with these children who are in desperate need for love.

I also got the chance to hear my student and friend Eric’s testimony recently. He has one of the craziest stories I’ve ever heard. Like I’ve mentioned in earlier blogs, he is the eldest of ten siblings. His parents both left them when he was young and after the genocide, he was forced to come alone to Kigali from their village to try and find work at the young age of 11. After moving around from house to house doing odd jobs, he found himself living on the street and began drinking and doing drugs. He didn’t become a Christian until a year ago but before he knew God, God saved him many times. During the genocide, a man ran after him with a knife and cut his head open, spilling part of his brain onto the ground. His head still bears the scars of this incident today but he survived. He also fell into a 100-meter hole and was rescued miraculously by a man with a rope that was just long enough to reach him. Lastly, he was fishing a few years ago and ended up getting swept away by the river, where he drowned. His body was carried all the way to Burundi by the current where local fishermen found him. They were preparing to cremate him after 3 days of him being dead when he suddenly woke up laughing, asking for a fire because he was cold. He said he remembers being separated from life by a river that kept him on the side of the dead. Then the most handsome man he’s ever seen pushed him up onto the side of life and that’s when he woke up from the dead. He says that he now spends his life working for God and that even though his mother and father have forsaken their family, that God is his parent.

THANK YOU to all of you who have been emailing me about sponsoring children. I went to see Veterine and his family a few days ago and began telling him that there are people in America that want to sponsor him. He sadly explained that he couldn’t go to school because he’s the head of the household at the age of 12 years old and that he needs to provide for his family. After explaining that I was finding people to sponsor all of his brothers and sisters, his face lit up immediately at the thought of him being able to go to school!! I am waiting to hear back from Compassion International and will let all of those interested know as soon as I hear anything. Pray, pray, pray for this door to open. Also, if this works, we will still need 2-3 more sponsors.

My students are getting sad that I’m leaving. We sat hanging out on Monday after class and they were telling me how much they’re going to miss me.. especially now because they no longer see me as a “muzungu” (white person), but as a fellow Rwandan, and as their friend. While I am so sad at the thought of leaving, I have a very strong feeling that I am going to be back here some day and will see them again soon.

Lastly, I have been sick the past week or so. I went to the doctor yesterday after two sleepless nights of the most pain I’ve ever felt in my stomach. I went to the doctor yesterday though and after taking the first round of medication for parasites, I feel much better.. Amen!

That’s all for now. I’m not sure I’ll have time to come to the internet again while in Africa so I’ll update again from France! Bon Voyage

Megan

disclaimer: this is a bit long...

2008-08-12T12:24:00.004+03:00

All I feel I can really say is WOW. I have not blogged in such a long time and I literally have countless stories to tell. I have no idea where to start so most of the stories will have to wait to be told in person another time.

Since the last update, we have been hanging out with many different street boys doing our own little ministry project with them, we’re trying to help organize an association with some local women from the church for women in prostitution, and we had a 3 day adventure in Uganda where we got to visit Hudson, the little boy my dad and I sponsor. I don’t think I have ever been so busy in my life and I apologize for the lack of updates…

First, the street boys, since they are my favorite J

We have made some very dear friends with the street boys in our area of Kigali. There are 9 of them total (although we find more each day) who we met randomly one afternoon a few weeks ago. We rounded the corner in our neighborhood to approach a crowd of very dirty young boys who were playing on large mounds of red African dirt. They immediately began holding out their hands to beg. I didn’t want to give them anything at first but Hilliary began pulling out a bag of bread from our purse, breaking off a small piece for each of the boys. They gulfed down the hot dog buns so quickly that I began to pay more attention to them, noticing they had no shoes, many holes in their filthy clothes, and scabs and cuts all over them and I immediately felt compassion growing in my heart. Ever since, we have hung out with them almost daily, getting to know each one of them individually, caring for their needs, playing and praying together and beginning to form a very strong relationship with them. One of my very favorite things here is to go to the top of our hill and when they spot us, their faces light up and they sprint towards us as quickly as their little legs can carry them and bombard us with hugs. Everywhere we go together, they rush to place their little hands, which are layered with hardened dirt caked onto their dry skin, into ours. Sharing life with them over the past few weeks has been one of the most rewarding and joyful things of my life and I am perhaps going to be the most sad to leave them behind in 2 short weeks.

When we first met them, they were all sleeping under bushes in our neighborhood and in sewer gutters, begging during the days and never finding time to be the children that they actually are beneath their hardened street faces. We have been praying over the course of our friendship for local community members to begin caring for them and it is actually coming to be! Last week, we found 7 of them and rented a bus (to their absolute delight!) and took them to a local street ministry organization in town. That day, we found out that one of our favorite boys, who loves to pray, was in a very bad mood. I thought at first that he was just tired or crabby, but as the long day wore on, it became obvious that he was suffering from some kind of pain. Hilliary was at home feeling sick with malaria so I took the young 12 year old to the hospital. He looked the most sad I have ever seen him, the usual smile and joy gone from his face due to pain. It turns out he has an infection on his head from getting in a street fight with other boys. After this, we waited with him for nearly 3 hours for his friends who then took us to a lady named Grace’s house. It turns out, she started feeding them last week 2 meals a day from the leftovers of her small restaurant! Praise God for this answered prayer.

I have been wanting to spend all my time with the street children, who are so hardened from life’s difficult circumstances. Most of them say that they have at least a mother or a father, which means the situation at home must be pretty bad for them to prefer living on the street. Homelessness here is not like it is in America, as it’s much more difficult and seemingly dangerous. There are virtually no girls on the street because of this. It is truly beautiful though to get glimpses of the child that hides beneath the façade of the street. I think that this ministry to these children might be my forte. I have absolutely fallen in love with them and I could VERY easily see myself returning after graduating to work among them. Society has seemed to give up on them and no longer deems them of any value. It breaks my heart that no one loves them…

We have also continued forming relationships with our friends from town, Janet, Daniel and beloved Veterine. Much to our surprise and immense delight, we were invited to their house last week. After a bus ride full of smiling glances and many rounds of giggling with excitement, we all reached their village, which looked over downtown Kigali. It was stunningly beautiful. Despite the beauty of the hillside, trash, naked babies and poverty that seemed to touch all who lived there, surrounded their neighborhood. After a long walk down many steep hills and through much trash (especially with a crippled boy on your back) we finally reached their house, which consisted of a very small and dark 2 room house. Four brothers and sisters live there, the oldest of which is only a mere 14 years old. We took many pictures together and played many rounds of bingo, which they really enjoyed. Usually we only see these children in the context of the taxi park when they are working to earn a few coins. It was really great getting to see them smile so much when we were together, as they finally got the chance to play and act their age.

We also found out that there are 4 other children who live with their mom a pretty far ways away. She, however, has no money and no way of making money either. Thus, it leaves 12 year old crippled Veterine as the sole financial provider for 9 people. I don’t understand how this could be.. Hilliary and I have been talking about wanting to sponsor Veterine, but he said it wouldn’t be possible unless all of the other children were also sponsored. While this is unfair as it seems his family is using him slightly, I also wonder what other choice they have because if Veterine were to go to school, their only way of earning money would be gone.

I have an appointment with World Vision today to try and find out how much sponsorship is for a family. If you are interested in helping this very vulnerable family, please let me know and I will give you more details.

We also had the opportunity to go to Kampala, Uganda while my dad was here. After a ten hour bus ride and many unexpected events, we finally arrived to be a bit overwhelmed by the immensity of the people, pollution and activity. Although we were only in the city for about a day, it seemed to be a city reeking with the consequences of poverty, sin and corruption. Little children literally lined the streets begging for money relentlessly. On our first night, we were walking to dinner when we passed a baby less than a year old completely alone on the dark, night sidewalk with it’s tiny and helpless hands molded into the begging position. It made us all want to be sick as obviously the parent was somewhere close by and had trained her innocent child to beg. Talk about child exploitation. I wanted on instinct to run very quickly from that city, yet I can’t help but think that if there is so much evil and hopelessness there, isn’t that exactly where Christians need to be?

While in Kampala, we also took a day to visit the child my dad and I sponsor in his small fishing village. Hudson is now ten years old and is adorable. We enjoyed about four hours together, talking, playing, eating and visiting his home. He was immensely shy at first, but after getting his new soccer ball, he opened up a lot more. While visiting his grandma who he lives with, we shared donuts and fantas before exchanging gifts. His grandma, hand made me a beautiful woven basket and Hudson drew me a big poster, which still makes me smile every time I look at it. Overall, it was a very special experience and I shall cherish it for a very long time.

Also, Hilliary has left as of yesterday morning. I teared up in the airport and then silently cried all the way home. It was wonderful to have her here and I’m so grateful for all the memories we now have together. Since then, it has been a bit eery being alone but I’ve also enjoyed the time to ponder and I am hoping that being more independent will force me to grow a lot more in the next few weeks.

Prayer requests:

-praise because Patmos has found a church to rent out for the next few months!

-street boys: a few of them don't know God and I have no idea what their hope in life is without Him. Please pray for all of them that they will begin to think that they are worthy of love, for protection and for God to help them.

-Sponsorship for Veterine, Janet and Daniel as they desperately need help. The handicapped here, much like the street children, are deemed unworthy and are therefore among the most vulnerable of society.

-safe journeys for Hilliary and for her debriefing process

Love,

Megan

Finally...

2008-08-11T18:16:00.006+03:00

Well, I finally got some pictures to download after all this time! I am planning on writing a detailed blog tomorrow so check back then..

the bus park in Kampala. I have never seen so many taxis in my life..

our friends Janet (13), Veterine (12), and Daniel (8). I will write their story tomorrow but Hilliary and I are trying to find people to sponsor them through World Vision. Please prayerfully consider this. There are 8 children total and Veterine (our 12 year old crippled friend in the middle) is the only one who provides for their family by begging in the taxi park everyday. Rent for one month is $12.. about 3 coffees in America could house 4 children who have no money, no food and no parent to look after them. Look for more details tomorrow as I am going to speak with World Vision, a non-profit agency that sponsors children in poverty allowing them to go to school, be fed and housed.

my sponsored boy, Hudson, in Kampala. We had the opportunity to visit him and his family. Here we are by Lake Victoria holding the poster he drew me :)

Hilliary and I have been hanging out with many street boys the past few weeks and these are some of them. They are all under the age of 14 and they have no where to sleep, nothing to eat, and no one to look after them. All of them are either orphans or things are so bad at home that they'd rather be on the hard streets of Africa.

I will write more tomorrow.. please pray, pray, pray for us. I will post specific requests tomorrow. Thank you!

In Christ,

Megan

I'm still alive.. dont worry

2008-08-09T20:07:00.001+03:00

Hello all! I just wanted to let you know that I am alive and very well, but am more busy than I think Ive ever been in my life so I haven’t had any time to be on the internet. I promise to update within the next few days! Thank you for your continued prayers and support..

Soon,
Megan

heading off to Uganda...

2008-08-02T23:53:00.005+03:00

(the first picture is my friends teaching me how to cook Rwandan style at a big party at our house. The second is a picture of my favorite little girl, Umotoni, and her little sister. She often takes care of her, carrying her around, playing with her, feeding her etc.)

we are officially heading off to Uganda in 7 hours on a 10 hour bus ride that leaves at 6am. whew! tomorrow will be a crazy day.. but probably not quite as crazy as this last week has been. I have so much to say and so many pictures to update you all on, but I am utterly and completely exhausted and we need to wake up at 330am.

For now, please pray for several things:

-safety on our trip

-unity among Hilliary, my dad and myself. We have been really stressed out this past week and it's incredibly easy to take it out on each other. Pray that we would be unified and that God would not let us be divided, but instead, would help us love and serve each other.

-continued health for us. Hill and I have been having minor issues such as migraines and they are awful to have here

-perhaps most importantly is TIME to be with God. We have not had a moment to spare for at least a week and it has taken a toll on our relationships with God

-for God to provide for Patmos. The church is struggling immensely right now and needs God's help greatly (financially, spiritually, to continue in their work, hope, unity)

We get back to Rwanda on Wednesday and I promise to write a full update then. So, get ready. I have TONS to say. Murakoze (thank you)

I finally got a photo to work..

2008-07-28T16:54:00.004+03:00

well, my dad is officially here as of this morning! It was pretty weird seeing him come out of the airport.. he's been very jet leg and is sleeping now (after our insisting). He fell asleep in my english class this morning and my students were giggling :) I'm sure it will be great to have him here though! Hilliary and I are getting really excited to go to Uganda here in a couple days.

9 people got baptized on Sunday and there was a huge party at our house.. it was pretty fun! We know nearly everyone in the church now and I am going to be very sad to go in a month.

yesterday we sat in church services for 8 hours! it was perhaps the longest day of my life. Despite the crazy length of time, it was pretty fun. There was a famous singer who made an appearance at the service, as it was a fundraiser to help them buy a church building, and it was really neat to hear his story. He used to be a street boy, spending his days on the hard streets of Africa and with God's help, he has now become one of the most well known musicians in Rwanda! It made his songs about anything being possible with God much more neat to hear..

Well, sorry this post is so random. I usually write everything I want to say in my journal but I forgot it at our house today. Maybe I'll write more later.

PS. This is a picture of our friends Vetarine and his brother Daniel. This is where Vetarine begs everyday outside the taxi park.

our new friend, Vetarine

2008-07-24T15:34:00.002+03:00

The past week or so has been filled with really wonderful days and I’m very grateful for them. I was rather convicted about my crummy attitude earlier this week and after spending a lot of time reflecting, reading and praying, I am happy to report that I am doing much better internally.

So what’s been happening with us here lately? The better question would be, what hasn’t happened? There are numerous stories from each individual day, let alone since the last time I blogged. Here’s my favorite:

Perhaps the coolest experience of our past week (and for me, one of my favorite from this whole trip) was hanging out in town with our new friend, Vetarine. He is a 12 year old crippled boy who begs everyday in the taxi park, whom I have absolutely fallen in love with. For the past few weeks, I’ve been remembering to bring fruit or a small snack in my bag every time we go to town so that we might be able to offer him something other than a smile and a handshake. Last week, Hilliary and I decided it’d be really awesome to try and take him out to a meal with us but he politely said that he was too scared ☺ (We’re pretty scary, I know.) Instead, he asked for porridge for his family and we were able to meet his brother and sister who, along with Vetarine, live with their oldest brother because their parents are in a far off village. They said if we came back another day, they’d all come out to eat with us.

Two days ago, we decided to go back to town just to see Vetarine. Upon seeing us get off the bus, a warm smile spread across his face despite his attempts to silently hide it. We asked if he would like to come eat with us somewhere, but he seemed a little embarrassed and motioned that he’d have no way to get there because of his crippled legs. Instead, Hill and I went to a restaurant, came back and we had a small little picnic with our gentle spirited friend and his brothers and sisters. Words can’t adequately describe how I felt sitting there on the curb sharing a meal of tortillas and meatballs with these dirty children whose smiles and laughter could have lit up an entire night sky. We had a lovely time sitting in the sun together, laughing over silly things. Vetarine especially seemed to enjoy himself. Despite being older than his siblings, he is clearly skinnier and his clothes are far worse. He also had scabs on his head, which I learned is most likely from him sleeping in the dirt night after night. Bugs then bite his little head, leaving scabs that then get covered with dirt.

In the midst of laughing together, Vetarine’s brother Daniel realized how much time had past and he hurriedly put Vetarine on his back, to carry him back to the dirt to beg. It made my heart ache watching him go but he still had a large and grateful smile on his gentle face. How can this be the reality of life for a 12 year old child? My mind can’t grasp how much his childhood has been stolen from him by poverty and illness. How can he not have enough time to sit and be a kid because he has to rush back to the red African dirt to crawl around for money? Hilliary are going back today with coloring books, crayons and food to hopefully spend time together allowing these precious individuals to be children if even for a few moments.

Other than this, we have been busier as we’re now teaching counseling and keyboarding, which have both been going very well. It’s also been crazy realizing that nearly all the women we’re teaching crafts to are HIV positive.

Another interesting side-note: we have been hitchhiking to class now because there’s a huge shortage of buses! Don’t worry mom and dad, I’d honestly be 5 times more afraid of hitchhiking in America than here. While waiting on the road yesterday for a bus or for some sort of ride to come our way, the street suddenly filled with police cars and by the time we figured out what was going on, PAUL KAGAME, the PRESIDENT of Rwanda was passing. And get this, as he passed and saw us waving, he waved back! We were rather excited.

Okay, sorry this is so long. I have many more stories but they will have to wait. Thank you all for your continued prayers. God has been listening and answering very faithfully and I continue to ask you for your support in this way.

Soon,
Megs

PS. my blog still won't let me post pictures and I'm really bummed :(

apparently, we are getting fat :)

2008-07-19T18:55:00.002+03:00

Over the past two days, Hilliary and I have been told that we are big or fat 5 times! haha. apparently, that's a complement here, although we're wondering why all of the sudden we're getting all these comments because we feel we haven't changed at all.. plus the past few days we've spent about 4 hours each day walking and we haven't been eating that much. who knows how we could have gained weight! they all say that hilliary is bigger than I am though : )

we have finally started teaching crafts to the poor women here although there's been many setbacks with this as well. today we began teaching them how to make necklaces out of newspaper and it's been going really well! if you want one of the necklaces (they look really neat) tell me and I'll buy one for you. Buy a cool necklace and support a poor woman from the church who really needs it!

next week, i'm also going to start teaching a keyboarding class and a counseling class... so by next week we're going to be teaching english, crafts, keyboarding and counseling... woah. i'm really looking forward to this as before we were a bit bored at times but please join me in praying over all these classes.

a few other updates: there has been a bit of a financial strain while we've been here which has been rather frustrating at times. we have been learning how to be content though whether full or hungry. i've been getting a bit crabby more easily lately also, which is frustrating and i hope to keep working on this with God's continued grace and help.

I hope to post more pictures on Monday but for some reason, it won't post them. which is too bad because we have some really great ones! i'll try again though.

prayer requests:
-2 new classes starting this week
-my attitude/emotions. not to get distracted or discouraged by frustration or crabbiness
-financial means for Pastor Bea personally and for Patmos as a whole
-my dad is coming in a little over a week! pray for his preparation in coming and for his time here. we're planning on going to uganda to see the little boy we sponsor. we're all looking forward to this greatly!

miss you all family and friends! thanks for your continued support.. it's appreciated greatly

update... check my facebook for pictures or hilliary's blog!

2008-07-12T19:56:00.003+03:00

I have had SO much joy here in Rwanda with my new brothers and sisters in Christ! This morning, I had a pretty long talk with Pastor and Auntie in the prayer room at their house and it was a beautiful time of encouragement for both of us. I felt like I was given some very specific words for Pastor and upon telling them to her, she and Auntie teared up several times. She then proceeded to tell me that the first couple days that we came here, she was praying frequently with a sense from God that He would speak words to me to tell to people here. It’s a wonderful gift that’s being ushered into my spiritual life and I feel a bit like I’m on the verge of something very fresh and new. Apparently Pastor tells Auntie regularly how much she likes us and that if I stayed here with her, she’d train me to become a Pastor. Auntie, also, keeps telling me that she thinks I’m going to be a Pastor.. haha, who knows!

I feel so honored to be able to learn from Pastor Bea and from the people of the church here. Pastor Bea is an immensely generous woman, taking care of all who come to her, even if she doesn’t have the means to do so. As a church, the congregation is walking in obedience to be the hands and feet of Christ and take care of their community and the poor among them even though they don’t have much themselves. I am continually humbled by their reverence for God and for their obvious love for Him and for each other. I hope I can learn as much as I can from them and that I too, will continue to grow to be a woman who uses what I’ve been given to care for others. I’ve been stuck on these verses the past couple days…

“For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich…you will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.” 2 Corinthians 8-9

Pastor’s children are also on a 2 week holiday from school and so they are all home now. There’s Lillian (17), Pauleen (16), and Patrick (14). They seem a bit apprehensive of us now but I’m hoping that over the next few weeks, we’ll become good friends.

Prayer requests:

-Patmos is searching for a church of their own as they currently rent out a tiny room three times a week to use. The whole church fasted and prayed all last week and we are continuing to wait on God to provide. It’s especially difficult because most of the members of the congregation are pretty poor and don’t have much to give. Pray that God would provide and continue to grow Patmos spiritually and financially.

-we’re going back to the psychiatric ward on Monday to talk with the director about volunteering there once a week in the children’s ward. Apparently, it’s the ONLY psychiatric center in the whole entire country of Rwanda! It’s astonishing that this is true, especially with all the trauma that’s happened here. It’s also astonishing that we ended up at the only place in the whole country, given my desire and interest in the psychological state of Rwanda!

I love Rwanda, her joy & her pain

2008-07-09T18:56:00.005+03:00

(the first picture is Auntie & Pastor Beatrice on our adventure to South Rwanda, and the 2nd picture is me with a little boy while we were taking a break from English class)

Hilliary and I have been SO busy! Besides teaching English, we’ve been traveling, visiting friends of Pastor, hanging out around Kigali with some of our new friends, and going to a crusade that’s in town this week.

The weather here has been a bit crazy also as it’s been stormy. We loved experiencing our first African rain shower though and went out in the driveway to dance in it.. they thought we were so strange!

We also have had a few opportunities to get out of Kimironko (the area we live in) and see the rest of Kigali and Rwanda. On Sunday, we took a 4 hour bus ride to Butare, the second biggest city in Rwanda to visit Pastor Beatrice’s eldest daughter, Lilian who is there studying. Apparently, we were really close to the Burundi border. On the way there and back, I looked out the window the entire time, lost in thought and in the sights of the Rwandan countryside. So far, I am loving Africa immensely. Time is going by so quickly and I feel that I could easily spend at least a year here. I am loving Africa and her sights, her taste, the smell of her air, the song of praise that exudes vibrantly from the lips of her people, the colors, the simplicity… yet at the same time I am soaking in the pain and the tears, the smells that rise from the sewer and from the water, the sound of despair and pain, the sight of sadness at not being able to provide for your children… it’s all part of Rwanda and I cannot help but love this place and these people.

In talking about the genocide, Pastor Bea told me a little more about her story the other night during the rainstorm. Sadly, her father was stoned to death during the genocide, and her husband was shot after paying the interhamwe (rebels) to shoot him instead of chop him to death with a machete. This left behind Bea with 3 children under the age of 4 to take care of. She said she saw babies ripped out of pregnant women, women raped and tortured sexually, while blood ran down the streets of Rwanda’s hills.. it’s hard to imagine that all this could have happened here. We’re going to the genocide memorial next week..

I’ve also been seeing a lot of crippled and deformed people—especially children. There are many kids whose legs are crippled underneath them and they crawl along the crowded dirt roads using their arms to hold them up. Some of them can’t be more than 10 years old. I cannot imagine how insanely difficult, painful and disturbing it must be to live this way. How are these young children (some with cerebral palsy, spinal bifida, and malnutrition) left completely alone to fend for themselves on the bustling streets of Kigali? Who cares for the least and most vulnerable of society when even the healthy have a difficult time caring for themselves? They go along day to day crawling not more than 12 inches from the dirt, begging with their crippled legs crunched beneath them. Where is their hope in this life? I can’t help but wonder the question aloud. And yet this is only one place in the vast world filled with so much pain… how can God stand it, I wonder? To be able to hear the cries of all the billions of people on earth all at once.. I can’t begin to fathom or understand, yet I also know that I cannot stop God’s praise from flowing from my lips. My soul groans with the painful sights my young eyes have seen, yet because of Jesus, hope will also never leaves my peripheral vision.

The past two days we’ve been going to a part of town called Yamirambo to attend a crusade that’s in town from Muzungu (white) pastors. It was so much fun last night. We stood under the crystal clear stars with two of our new friends from Patmos Church, dancing and singing amidst hundreds of Rwandans in the middle of a soccer field. It was like a huge dance/priase party in the middle of Africa and I loved it! It was also interesting to compare preaching topics and style from white pastors to the preaching from Rwandan pastors.

Thursday, we’re going to visit the doctor we met at the hospital when we went to help the sick man we found in the road. I am thoroughly looking forward to discussing the psychological state of Rwanda, obstacles that stand in the way to getting medicine and services to the most poor and vulnerable, and how he got to where he is today. I’m SO excited!

prayer requests:

-opportunities for us to serve & help in sustainable ways

-that God would continue to bring wholeness to Rwanda, including the economy

praise!

2008-07-07T15:23:00.003+03:00

I'm not sick anymore!! Thanks so much for your prayers... I decided to stop taking anti-diarrhea medicine and a whole bunch of people here were praying for me. Then that very same day, I started to feel better and everyday since I've been improving significantly!

The picture above is Hilliary's class. She only has about 6 students in her intermediate class while I have nearly 15 beginners!

I'll write a longer blog on Thursday because I only have a few minutes online today.

I love my english students!

2008-07-03T16:23:00.003+03:00

Yesterday we had our second English test in class. Two of my students, Eric & Roselle, arrived late so I sent them outside to take the test. While I continued teaching, I stole a glance out the window and there was Eric (our hilarious friend who always cracks me up) looking through an English-Kinyagwanda dictionary! I stomped out there and yelled “Bibi Eric!” which means “bad.” Meanwhile, the rest of my class was looking on from the window laughing absolutely hysterically! During the break, I made him a hat that said “I am bad” on it and explained that in America in the olden days, students who were bad had to sit in the corner with dunce hats on. They thought it was real funny and he wore it the rest of the day J My class is so wonderful to be with and I love the fellowship that comes from being with them almost everyday. And I have 13 students now! Woah.

I’ve also still been a bit sick and am having problems with my stomach. Pastor Beatrice and Auntie (the wonderful woman who cooks for us) asked me yesterday what kinds of foods would be good for me to eat. After telling them that meat upsets my stomach and that I wanted bland foods, we showed up to dinner to see a large pot of cow! They assured me that since it wasn’t cooked with oil, but rather with water, that it would make my stomach feel lots better! After taking only a small piece of meat, they proceeded to put the cow’s hip, along with the bone, on my plate telling me that I needed to eat the whole thing to feel better. I ate the whole bowl, and pastor told me I needed even more! Ahh! Then yesterday at breakfast, they poured me a giant bowl of pourage (which is definitely not my favorite food here..) saying that I needed to eat the whole thing! And they tried to have us drink raw eggs also.. we found out they were raw after Hilliary tried to crack it thinking it was hard boiled. Apparently, they drink their eggs here!

On a more serious note, I think I might have a parasite and it is real annoying not feeling my best. Please keep this in your prayers as I really want to get well quickly. And please pray for energy and perseverance to go about our daily activities even if I don’t feel the best.

And mom and dad, don’t worry too much about me being sick! Everyone we live with wanted to rush me to the hospital 2 days ago just for simple diarrhea so if I need to go to the doctor, they’ll definitely take me in a heartbeat J

I was trying to upload the picture of my class and of Eric with his funny hat on but none of the pictures will work.. I'm so bummed :(

eric & his story

2008-07-01T20:56:00.001+03:00

Everywhere Hilliary and I go here, we never fail to gather a following of adorable little children. My favorite is when a kid we have never seen, catches a glimpse of us and immediately rushes over to hug our legs with all their might. I LOVE the children here. They brighten my days immensely and whenever I’m with them, I can’t help but think of how precious they must be to God if they are so delightful to me. Every Saturday we spend the morning playing with kids and it’s my favorite day of the week. We taught them a few English games and they taught us some Rwandan ones as well. They loved to pick Hilliary and I ☺
Yesterday was another long church service, but I loved it and it was the first time that I didn’t feel completely uncomfortable. We taught the children the song “Jesus loves me…” and we performed it during the service. I also led two English worship songs, which the congregation seemed to enjoy. During the nearly two hours of music every Sunday, it’s like a huge dance party. The place becomes absolutely alive with dancing, shouting, and joy… I thoroughly enjoy watching the people here worship. Their faces light up and they become like little children who delight at the presence of their Daddy. It’s beautiful.
One of my students Eric hung out with us a bit last night. He’s an ridiculously hilarious 24 year old who is in my English class. He’s especially funny because he doesn’t try to be, but always ends up doing things that make us crack up. He has an especially difficult time pronouncing certain English sounds and tries to copy the motion of our tongues when we speak—his tongue ends up flying all over the place. He is greatly eager to learn English and everyday in class, he raises his hand, and jumps up whenever I call on him even if he doesn’t know the answer! I found out a bit about his life tonight while studying for our first English exam tomorrow..
He came to Kigali from a small village in 1995 after the genocide was over. Both his mother and his father died during the genocide, and as they left behind 10 children, his brothers and sisters sent him to the city to try to find work. Even though he was the oldest, he was only a mere 11 years old when he came to Kigali completely by himself. He used to sleep on the street, spending the days begging and he eventually got into drinking. He randomly met Pastor Beatrice and her brother after peeking into their church one day when he was younger and he’s been with them ever since. He lives with Pastor Bea’s brother, helping around their house by cleaning and cooking during the day, and works as a security guard at night. This leaves him with approximately 2 hours a day to sleep. Despite his hard circumstances, he is seriously one of the most joyful people I have ever met in my 21 years of life. His spirit exudes deep joy and he constantly has a warm and genuine smile spread across his face. He is only one of the beautiful people we’re blessed to be around every single day. I am really beginning to care about the people here..
I’ve also been feeling not so great the past few days and haven’t been able to do all I want to. It’s really not that serious but Beatrice was almost insisting to take me to the hospital yesterday haha! Then her mom Kristine found out last night and immediately burst into our room with a deeply concerned face to pray for me. It was very cute
Prayer requests:
-health so that I may continue to be able to teach and carry out our daily activities.
-For my heart to be open to really experiencing life with the people here. To be able to enter into their joy and their pain and experience it alongside of them.

crazy times..

2008-06-27T14:59:00.001+03:00

The past 36 hours have been loaded with the unexpected. It started off by waking up to screams from a woman who is regularly abused next door. I guess the man hits his wife and even his two small children. Beatrice’s mom Kristine goes over there to pray with them frequently, and sometimes the children come over here. Although one can go to jail for domestic violence, they said it’s a pretty regular occurrence here… It didn’t seem to be very upsetting to the people we were talking with, probably because it’s so common. It really broke my heart though.

Next, we went to English class where I was to have a bit more heartache. One of my young students who is an orphan was raped and beaten by a family she was staying with. She recently told her testimony in church for the first time, and ever since she’s been unable to stop thinking about her past. I think she may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as she has all of the symptoms. She has been unable to concentrate in class or retain anything we cover. Wednesday she started crying when I called on her in class. I talked with her afterwards for a while during which silent tears rolled down her cheeks the whole time. In asking if she has anyone to talk to about her past, she thought for a mere second and then replied, “No. I can’t trust anyone.” Because she has been abused and taken advantage of for so many years by everyone she knew, she is unable to trust others, build intimacy, give or receive love. I offered to “counsel” her but she said no because I will be leaving in 2 months and she didn’t see the point in building a relationship if I’m just going to leave. Continue praying for this girl and for me as I’m unsure how to help. I think the best way may be to teach a counseling class to train the church members here how to counsel. That way those who will be here long term can best help.

Yesterday morning was the most unexpected event of all and the one that possibly broke my heart the most. Hilliary, Angie (our fun house girl) and I were walking to the market to buy food to make our weekly dinner that night. Upon rounding a corner, we saw something in the middle of the road. Most of what happened is a blur to me now as I went into “fight” mode. What I first thought to be a pile of clothes was a man who was laying face first in the dirt. People were around, but nobody stopped or even gave him a second glance. We immediately made our way over to him, wondering if he was alive as he wasn’t moving. We tried to check his pulse, while talking to him and touching his hand and back. Soon, he began to move and more people crowded around. As two men slowly helped him up, we gave him our water and he drank a whole bottle in about thirty seconds. He had dirt all over his clothes and his face and had a very hard time moving. The people who were around seemed satisfied once he was up and they had carried him to the shade. However, it was obvious that he was in a lot of pain and I didn’t feel okay just leaving. We found a man who spoke some English and he translated for us saying that the man wanted to go to the hospital but had no money. A boy offered to push the man (named Andres) on his bicycle and we followed.

The hospital was jammed packed with people, including many young children and mothers. It was quite a challenge trying to talk with the staff as none of them spoke English but we eventually understood that we simply had to wait. Hilliary and Angie went to the market across the road while I waited with the man. After seeing the nurse though, she motioned that he needed to be transferred to a different hospital. After having some difficulty finding Hilliary in the market, and getting a taxi that wouldn’t over charge us, we made our way to the hospital, which turned out to be a hospital specializing in neurology and psychiatry. While waiting there, we met a very kind guy named Emmanuel. He was 25 years old and was there with his family to have his brain tumor looked at. We soon got into the doctor who thankfully spoke English. He explained to us that Andres is a patient there at the hospital but he doesn’t have enough treatment to buy the medicine he needs or to pay for counseling as he suffers from epilepsy. His parents are both dead and he lives with his two brothers but none of them have jobs. The doctor explained that this is a great problem in the country as many, many people need help but nearly none of them can pay for medicine, yet alone pay for food. It was so painful sitting there, seeing that Andres was completely helpless. We ended up getting him a 2 month supply of his medicine and paying for his hospital bill but I couldn’t help wondering what would happen to him in 2 months when his medicine runs out again. We gave him our email and drew him a map of where the church is located and we think he may come on Sunday. I dearly hope he will. It’d be great if we could help him find a job somehow so that he can begin to take care of himself.

While at the psychiatry hospital, I couldn’t help but thank God for this whole ordeal. I wonder what would have happened to Andres if we hadn’t stopped, if God hadn’t had us walk that way at that time. I also got the Doctor’s email and telephone number as I explained that I’d love to come back and talk with him. He agreed and I’ll try and go back next week. I think it’d be so great if I could find a way to go there maybe once a week to help out, observe, maybe job shadow? Yesterday and today have been confirming that I want to go into psychology. Today made me really want to go to med school and be a psychiatrist instead of a counselor. I wonder though, how would I pay for med school if I want to work with poor people who probably couldn’t pay me? God knows and will provide if that’s what I’m supposed to do though..

Well, sorry for the long post. Please continue praying for my student and for Andres, as well as for us. The first week or so, I was having a difficult time connecting with people or loving the culture, but God is making my heart break very much for this place now. Pray that this continues and that God continues using us the way He wants to. Also, I feel that I’m starting to get sick so please pray that I’d remain healthy so that I can continue to do what I came here to do.

Thanks friends.

Megan

ps

2008-06-23T18:35:00.002+03:00

ps. hilliary's blog is www.hillsblog.com so read hers also! apparently the last link was wrong..

and also, i uploaded a few pictures onto facebook so check there as well because it takes about half an hour to upload one picture on here because the connection is so slow!

week 2

2008-06-23T16:54:00.007+03:00

\]It’s so difficult to decide what to write about when each day here is so eventful.. Hilliary and I will be trying to come to the internet café on Monday afternoons and Thursday mornings. We are nine hours ahead here but if you’re around at any of those times, get on Skype! Also, pastor’s address here is BS 2815 Kigali, Rwanda. If you have something to send, do it through Fed Ex or DHL and they can most likely ship it to the house.

Hilliary and I got pretty discouraged this week after another church service. It’s been difficult to connect to God when everybody here does so through different means. All the services we went to were so full of emotion, dancing, crying, prophesying.. things that are very foreign to our way of connecting with God. Then, the messages of miracles we kept hearing from the Kenyan pastors were hitting us both the wrong way and we had a day of seriously doubting the ministry, God, and us being in Africa. Despite not feeling like praying, we spent some time doing so together and every day since then, everything has been SO SO much better!! We were also discouraged because we felt that no one was really investing in us relationally but this has changed immensely as well and we thank God for it. The transformation is huge J

We’ve gotten to hear a few more stories from some of the people in our church who are also our students and I appreciated this even though it was hard to hear. One of my students has no parents and from a young age lived with a family who took her in to look after their children. However, she was raped and beaten so badly that she was unable to walk or get out of bed for 2 years. She was rescued and is still working through trusting others and having faith in God but she is improving significantly.

One of my other students used to be a soldier and was having a hard time for many years getting a job. He got so discouraged that he decided he wanted to shoot himself, but when the time came, he couldn’t do it. He decided to try one more time getting a job as a cab driver after praying and he got it and has committed his life to pursuing God ever since.

People here find so much to thank God for…

Hill and I also had the opportunity to cook here last Thursday night, and we will continue to do so every week despite the DISASTER we created! We tried to make tortillas and fajitas and everything would have been fine.. but there were quite a few important things that went wrong. First of all, we got the wrong kind of flour at the market (what a crazy experience).. we then went to another market and bought flour, but this too was the wrong kind. Thus, our tortillas didn’t work at all. Then, we made the fajitas but it wasn’t very tasty so Auntie gave us a few peppers to put in. Hilliary cut it, smelled it and concluded that it smelled like a mandarin.. so we put in a lot and the dish was so hot it was hard to eat!

Yesterday at church and Saturday at an outreach event, the Kenyan pastors were there again and we continued to feel anxious as they talked. I talked to Pastor Beatrice again yesterday after they left, explaining to her my discomfort at their message of miracles happening if you have enough faith and how it is hindering me from growing during church. We talked for an hour about it, which is pretty ironic for me as I greatly hate confrontation. Basically, she agrees with me but is in a sort of bind that I won’t explain. I feel very convicted about this and asked if I could talk with the three pastors sometime (which again is very unusual for me! God is giving me such boldness here). So, please pray for this! Part of me feels so nervous at dialoging about theology with three grown pastors who have been preaching for years, yet I feel like God is really with me. It’s interesting to see where He’s taking me while I’m here.. I never thought I’d be challenging “prosperity doctrine” in Africa! Hilliary and I are also speaking to the youth on Tuesday and will need to prepare messages so pray that God would give us words then also.

Missing you all,

Megan

prosperity, children and class updates..

2008-06-18T15:07:00.005+03:00

So far, Hilliary and I have been asked to marry someone 3 times and two young boys have tripped because they were staring so hard at us! We’ve had more and more good laughs lately. The other funny line from hilliary after she almost got run over as she tried to cross the traffic congested street—“A dead muzungu (white person) is even more rare than an alive one!”

Since the last blog, after praying God gave me great amounts of boldness to ask Pastor Beatrice about the theology questions that I had from the church service on Sunday, as it really made me upset. I realized after talking with her that it was really weighing me down and almost keeping me from fully entering into service and working alongside of this ministry.. so I’m so grateful for the courage to ask her my questions even though I was so unsure of the cultural appropriateness of doing so. I think through our conversation about the “prosperity gospel” here in Africa, faith, miracles and not losing sight of loving God, that I’m more convinced than ever that this is exactly where I’m supposed to be. It really surprised me though that a kind of “prosperity doctrine” theology runs so rampantly here in Eastern Africa, just as it does in Seattle and in the United States. The pastors who spoke at the church on Sunday were guests from Kenya who spoke for nearly 3.5 hours about how if we only have enough faith in God, we will never get sick, we will have jobs and money and our every prayer will be answered by God. While, yes, I do believe that miracles happen, these pastors completely missed the point that intimacy with God, loving Him, and obeying Him are primary. God seemed more like a big Santa Clause up in heaven who we turn to when we need something, rather than having a relationship with another Being.

It’s also been so encouraging to see that God is the same, even across such vast cultural boundaries and differences. He speaks the same message to people here—and this is only more proof to me of His existence.

Class has also been going well.. their smiles keep me going. We played bingo today and they loved it! They practice English everywhere they go.. when we leave the classroom, you can hear them walking down the road pointing to things and saying their colors etc. It’s so great.

We also had the opportunity to visit former prostitutes and their mothers yesterday in their homes. I’m not quite sure I can adequately describe the slum.. it was filled with the sound of crying babies, everything was made of mud and tin, there were huge holes in the walls of the houses, trash and human feces were in the cramped walkways between the houses.. and this is where hundreds of thousands if not millions of Rwandans live. The first house we visited was the home of a young mother who was a former prostitute who has two beautiful twin baby girls. When we walked in, the babies were simply lying on a chair, one of them crying. It took over an hour before the milk was ready for the hungry babies and one of them drank it so fast that she puked it up all over the woman who was holding her. (She also then proceeded to poop and pee on Hilliary J.) It broke my heart to see this little family. The HIV positive mother was so young, had no way of making money other than selling small crafts, had two malnourished babies to look after… all the while, trying to maintain her faith and live a life free from the easy way of making money through prostitution.

After this visit to Odette and her babies, we went to another home of a young HIV positive mother who used to work in prostitution. It was really great because I brought some extra money through a very nice friend who donated some, and with that we are going to be buying these women groceries and the materials they need to the most to take care of their vulnerable children.

It has been so neat to learn from the women of Patmos Healing Ministries and to see the mutli-faceted work God has called them to. All day yesterday, I couldn’t stop thinking about what it might look like if the churches of America, if my church, associated themselves with the poor the way that the women of this church do. The majority of these women don’t have jobs, so they use what little resources they have to bless women who are even more vulnerable and needy than themselves. They visit prostitutes, take care of the neediest of children, visit the sick, use their resources fully for taking care of those around them, encourage youth… it’s amazing and I wonder what transformations would take place in our own communities if we lived this way as well.

I’d also like to say a big thank you to those of you who donated items (clothes, crayons, coloring books, money). The children, youth and adults who have been receiving these items have been so grateful and excited. Some of the soccer jerseys and youth clothing was given away today and all the boys put on their new clothes right away, sporting them proudly the rest of the time we were there. It has been a great encouragement to the people here and I wish you could see their smiling faces.

It’s time to go, but you can also read Hilliary’s blog at www.hillsblog.com

Until next time,

Megan

first week in rwanda..

2008-06-16T16:32:00.003+03:00

Hello friends! I can't believe I've already been here for nearly a week.. there's SO much to tell and not enough time but it's been crazy. Despite being in Kigali for several days now, being here still feels like a dream. up until today, we were just hanging out at the pastor's house we're staying at, traveling around town and running errands so it felt a bit like a vacation. today, though, we started teaching english. I got a bit nervous last night when we found out that instead of just teaching the church staff, we'd be having our own classrooms, but it was GREAT TODAY! I had ten students (all but one were adults and 2 pastors). I'll post a picutre of them next time.. but I teach for 5 hours three times a week which I thought would be such a long time, but it went by very quick today. the students are so great and immensely eager to learn english. I kept wanting to go back and review but they said, "no, no.. we can review at home.. teach us more!!" and after I taught them how to say their first basic conversation in english, their faces lit up and huge smiles spread across their happy faces! Because of that, I could do this everyday.. after we were done for the day you could hear them all outside asking each other, "what is your name? How are you?" it was so encouraging for me to see the fruit of the work even already...

other than teaching english three times a week, hilliary and i will be taking care of children two times a week and teaching an art/craft class once a week for women to learn practical skills. nearly all of the people here don't have jobs--including the vast majority of them who have completed schooling in universities. it's very sad and i can't help but think in the big picture and wonder what needs to happen for the rwandan economy to be rejuvinated.. knowing english helps people get jobs though so i'm honored to play my small role in this. I've also been asked to teach a class to train people how to counsel.. however, i'm not sure if I can do this and will need to decide by tonight. i have some materials with me and some basic ideas of how to conduct counseling but am not sure if i could train church members how to do this.

the women we're staying with are fantastic and have been nothing but supportive and kind to us. our interpreter chantal is with us nearly all the time as well as several other women who are staying at the pastors house to keep us company. hilliary and i thought we might lose weight coming to africa, but the exact opposite is happening! we eat SO much here and when we say no to more food, they hand us more! already hilliary and i are thinking that we are gaining weight haha! we joke that we'll come home 30 lbs heavier at least :)

up until yesterday, i was having trouble staying awake as i was so tired.. all the women kept teasing me calling me a "baby" and "bad." It's fun and I haven't been tired the past two days as bad so that's good! before, everytime I sat down I was falling asleep in my chair!

Hilliary is learning the language "kinyarwandan" VERY quickly. she's amazing and god has really blessed her with language skills. it's astonishing and everyone here thinks so.. they tease me also because I am more slow. they say, "hilliary will know kinyarwandan in one month, but megan will not know by the time she leaves!" I'm trying though!

some other things we have done include going to the southern part of the country to visit one of the pastors sons who is at boarding school. when we walked into the courtyard of the school, ALL of the heads in the surrounding classrooms turned and we heard several gasps at the sight of us.. when class got out, all the students rushed out to stare at us haha. some even ventured over to talk to us and let us take their picture.

everywhere we go here, people stare, point and say "muzungu," the word for white person. at first it was very weird, but i'm getting used to it and it can actually be a little bit funny :) yesterday we accompanied "auntie" who is a sort of maid for our house and while we sat in a shop waiting for her, several people in walking past, came back doing double and triple takes. we've been making lots of jokes about it. OH, and we've gotten asked to marry people twice now!! It's hilarious! while we were at the same market, one man stopped us and said we were beautiful and asked if he could marry us.. but that he only needed one of us :)

our first church service was yesterday and it was 4.5 hours long!! it was the longest service i've ever been to in my life and was possibly the most foreign to me as well. despite my attending a pentecostal church in seattle for about a year and a half, i wasn't prepared for all that went on yesterday in the service. i was very confused and a bit upset about the theology that was presented and asked the pastor if i could ask her some questions tonight. i need to be very respectful though and am praying it goes well. it's so important to see different things not as bad. i have a lot to learn from them and the way they see god and worship him, but i hope they can learn a little bit from me as well.

overall, the people are incredibly hospitable, kind and beautiful. despite being a bit discouraged yesterday, i am doing well and am very much looking forward to getting into the routine of things with the programs we're doing. we're even cooking for everyone on thursday night.. it'll be an adventure for sure.. especially knowing my wonderful cooking skills haha. we'll be cooking american food though which involves going to the market, doing dishes from the spicket etc. we've also been using a tub of water that's heated every morning to wash ourselves and that was interesting on the first morning figuring out how to do that! we got water all over the floor :)

well, I'm runing out of time on the internet.. sorry this was so jumbled and that I rambled for a bit. I miss my family and friends back home and have been deeply encouraged by the cards and everything that you sent with me. i'm opening them very slowly because i want to save them for if i have discouraging days. it's been so encouraging though when i'm discouraged to know that there are so many people at home and all over the world praying for us. so THANK YOU for your prayers. Please continue praying.. here are some requests:

-praise god for the english class today! it is going to be fantastic and fruitful. pray that the students learn quickly and that their english skills will enable them to get jobs.

-I need to decide by tonight if I feel equipped enough to teach a counseling training class. I am doubting myself a bit but think having 3 years of education at an american university has taught me a lot.. please pray for discernment and wisdom about this.

-understanding and wisdom about the theology here and for our discussion with the pastor tonight.

ALSO, I WILL BE BACK ON THE INTERNET WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON.. I'M NOT SURE WHAT TIME THAT IS IN AMERICA AS THERE'S AN ELEVEN HOUR TIME DIFFERENCE BUT IF YOU CAN, GET ON SKYPE DURING THAT CHUNK OF TIME!!!! It would be SO great to talk to some of you!!

again, thanks for your support and prayers. love and miss you all at home..

until next time,
megan

Beginning to Realize..

2008-05-29T10:28:00.005+03:00

Today was the first time that i truly got nervous about Rwanda. It was also the first time that i began to understand more of the depth of what this summer has in store...

In thinking all this over, i also came to the realization that most of my thinking about this trip is focused around me: what will I be doing? how am I going to grow from this? will I be okay? i hope that in the next coming days until it's time to depart, that my thinking will slowly begin to transform because really, this summer isn't about me. It's time to re-evaluate my motives (something i continue to find myself needing to do...). This summer is not about how i am going to grow or what i will be doing. It is primarily about Christ and what He's doing in the world; it's focusing outward instead of inwardly; it's seeing that this is God's work and how i might be a small part of it. Looking at this upcoming journey from this angle, it's so much more humbling. What an intense honor it is to be a piece of caring about people.. what a privilege to represent God when i continually mess up everyday.. what a joy to share my greatest treasure with the world..

i've also been spending some time reflecting lately on my first missions trip four years ago now. It was during that trip that i finally began to understand and see how to live with my eyes off of myself (and i still have so much to learn..). i remember coming back from that trip to speak to my church and the thing that stuck out to me the most was Matthew 16:25. Intensely ironic and contrary to our natural way of thinking, i found this verse to be one-hundred percent true of my first missions experience in Mexico.. i had spent year after year in my teen years searching for meaning, purpose and identity everywhere around me, and i finally found it in the least expected place of all--when i learned how to take my eyes off of myself.

What a great reminder for me tonight: "...whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it."

Prayer requests: that God will continue to reshape my thinking about this upcoming trip, allowing me to be truly selfless in my thoughts and actions, focused outwards, on others and on Christ.